Posts Tagged ‘struggles’

Before Hijab, I Was Scared

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Before Hijab, I Was Scared

Before hijab, I was scared. I was scared of what people would think, I was scared of what people would say at work, I was scared of scaring away potential husbands, I was scared of losing friends, I was scared of not being beautiful anymore and standing out of the crowd. All of these things stopped me from wearing hijab sooner, and now I wish, so much, that I had done it sooner. Because I could have saved myself from a lot of fitnah and lot of confusion had I done it sooner. Over the years, all those fears got smaller and smaller, as one fear – and one love – got bigger.

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I Hated the Hijab

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I Hated the Hijab

This is my hijab story. I’m afraid to tell it. Afraid of what people will think of me. You see, for me, wearing hijab wasn’t all blooming roses and rainbows and inner peace. It was blood and tears and a nafs raging and rebelling. It was the hardest thing I ever did for Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. I pray it was sincerely for His sake, that He may accept it from me, otherwise all this hardship will be in vain.

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And She Leaps

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And She Leaps

She toys with the idea of hijab, but something is stopping her, a nagging sound at the back of her head. She feels like she needs a personal cheer squad to get to her goal. Sometimes, she can even feel the petty thoughts contaminating her mind, stopping her from thinking clearly and making changes for the better. Just for a moment, she wants to silence all the worries, all the inhibitions, all the reservations. Just for a moment.

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Show Them

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Show Them

When I began to wear hijab some years ago, I really felt this “being tested” concept come into action. When I began wearing hijab, I remember my best friend telling me now that I wear it, I have to “act it.” I laughed at her when she said that, saying that the way I act is fine, and I need to change nothing except my wardrobe. But I was mistaken. Hijab is not just the act of getting new clothes – it’s a new life style.

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When He Said My Friend Was Ugly

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When He Said My Friend Was Ugly

Before I begin the story I want to ask, which women do we think are most valuable? Which women should we try to be like? There is a beautiful hadith: “Many men attained perfection, but only three women attained it: Maryam, the daughter of ‘Imraan [Jesus’s mother], Aasiyah, Pharaoh’s wife, and Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid.” (Ibn Mardooyah) Do we seriously take them as our true role models? When I remember the story I am about to narrate, I usually feel a sting in my heart. In fact, I think it would be more befitting if I should cry.

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