There are questions that ultimately go through the mind of every Muslim girl and woman at one point or another in her life… “Should I wear the hijab or should I not? When should I wear it?” For me, it was a matter of knowing that by wearing the hijab, I would be a step closer to jannah. When I was battling with whether or not to wear the hijab, and at what point should I start, my older sister became an unexpected source of inspiration for me. I feel like I got lucky. I was about to start tenth grade in a completely new high school, and it was like Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala had given me an opportunity for a fresh start.

It’s 8am. Snap. I’ve overslept. Again. Not surprising, as I’d switched my laptop off at 3 am. I rush to get ready but sigh as I see my reflection in the mirror. I cake on some makeup and spray on a cloud of perfume. Still dissatisfied with my image, I place a green headband in my long flowing hair and rush out the door, stomach rumbling. As I power-walk to school, I dread what the day may bring…

I started thinking about the hijab after a big MSA event that took place at my high school, when this sheikh, Dr. Daoud Nassimi, gave me a personal talk about the advantages of hijab and why we have to wear it. After that day, I told myself that I would wear hijab after marriage. Then I started making sincere du’as, asking Allah ta’ala to guide me, and my plans kept changing and changing. So I changed my mind and decided to wear it after senior year, and then slowly, in Ramadan. I couldn’t stop thinking about it because I knew deep inside that I should wear the hijab.

Old jeans, new hijab
What to wear and what to not.
Old skirts, new hijab
Won’t my classmates be shocked?
Old jewelry, new hijab
My beauty was never for you to seek.

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? You can be surrounded by a sea of people and yet you feel alone and unwanted. You can be with your closest family and friends, yet your sinking heart feels like it will never rise. Your heart can be broken and it hurts so much, yet you fake a smile so no one can see the intense pain you feel. Have you ever been through these times, yet you always seem to find some light in the situation?