That day was an eclipse of my heart kaleidoscope. The word kaleidoscope is derived from Ancient Greek and literally translates as “observer of beautiful forms”. One looks through one end of the kaleidoscope while light enters the other end and mirrors reflect images of startling juxtapositions. Some enchant you with a sea of patterned colors while others entrap your worries in a whimsical world of beauty.

Why does it become so difficult for us to accept the decree of Allah ta’ala? When we are on a train, we look forward to reaching out destination. We look forward to whom we will see and what we will do. However, on the train of life, we don’t look forward to the destination at the end, the akhira.

I’ve been wearing the “hijab” for a long time – for nearly seven years. And what I mean by “hijab” is wearing a khimar, a scarf on my head. Throughout elementary school and middle school, I never even thought about wearing full hijab. I always thought that girls who wore full hijab had a superiority complex about themselves… that just because they wore proper hijab, they assumed they were automatically better. Not to mention they judged girls who wore a khimar with skinny jeans, calling it “half-hijab.”

While growing up, my brother and I were taught salah, Arabic, and recitation of the Qur’an. Each Ramadan, my parents would observe adamantly and devoutly the fasts and taraweeh prayers. Eid was always a delightful experience, observing prayers at the mosque or local community center or school. My religion was a part of my daily routine. Each prayer was observed obligatorily, without question or much understanding. My parents never forced or thrust any requirements to wear hijab or our traditional dress. Yet in me, there was a missing piece – as if my heart and soul knew that there was something a bit more to my faith than routine observation.

I started wearing hijab when I was five years old. I would see my mom, my two older sisters, and my aunt wearing it; I thought it would be cool to wear it, too, and I wanted to be like them. I was five, mind you, so I never really understood the meaning behind wearing the hijab. All I knew was that it would cover my hair, and I was a Muslim. As I grew older, I slowly began to understand the meaning behind wearing the hijab and what it was for.