My Hijab, My Story

Cleansing Tears

20
Cleansing Tears

It was difficult to distinguish between the tears streaming down my face, and the warm, comforting water flowing out of the showerhead. Quietly sobbing as I bathed had become routine for that week; it was the only outlet in my day where I could mediate the painful battle that ensued between my heart and mind. Just weeks earlier as I poured thoughts into my journal, I convinced myself that I would wear hijaab in two more years when I was done with school. As I flipped through those journal pages, the increments of time I had given myself to wear hijaab kept getting shorter and shorter.

Continue Reading

Before Hijab, I Was Scared

27
Before Hijab, I Was Scared

Before hijab, I was scared. I was scared of what people would think, I was scared of what people would say at work, I was scared of scaring away potential husbands, I was scared of losing friends, I was scared of not being beautiful anymore and standing out of the crowd. All of these things stopped me from wearing hijab sooner, and now I wish, so much, that I had done it sooner. Because I could have saved myself from a lot of fitnah and lot of confusion had I done it sooner. Over the years, all those fears got smaller and smaller, as one fear – and one love – got bigger.

Continue Reading

I Hated the Hijab

47
I Hated the Hijab

This is my hijab story. I’m afraid to tell it. Afraid of what people will think of me. You see, for me, wearing hijab wasn’t all blooming roses and rainbows and inner peace. It was blood and tears and a nafs raging and rebelling. It was the hardest thing I ever did for Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. I pray it was sincerely for His sake, that He may accept it from me, otherwise all this hardship will be in vain.

Continue Reading

On My Way to the Masjid

17
On My Way to the Masjid

When I was a child, about 10 or 11 years old, I was so excited about wearing the hijab. I wanted to wear it as soon as possible. It was something you obeyed Allah with, without caring what any other person thought. Unfortunately, I was in a private Christian school where hijab was forbidden! Although the Muslims and Christians in my country live in peace to some level, some said that the school I was in forbade hijab in order to get financial aid from France. Anyway, it was only a matter of time for me.

Continue Reading

“Someday, One Day, Insha’Allah…”

16
“Someday, One Day, Insha’Allah…”

As a teenager, I remember my father reprimanding me if I did not have a scarf on when I left the house. Being a typical teenager, with no thoughts of accountability, it did not take me long to realise that I could wear it when I left the house, but there was nothing compelling me to keep it on. And so it carried on. I would wear my scarf when I left the house, and if I was not with my father, I took it off. I was rather consciously blocking the ayah, “…and whatsoever good you do, Allah is aware of it…” [2:215], from my head.

Continue Reading
Google Analytics Alternative