I am a twenty year old Muslim girl from the Arabian Gulf, “the original place of Islam.” And I want to talk to you about my life before and after hijab.

I used to believe that hijab wasn’t an important issue. That it limited my freedom. So I decided I would never wear hijab as long as I lived. Although my mother wears hijab, she never forced my sisters or I to wear it. She felt that we had to believe in hijab in order to practice it, or else we would take it off as soon as we were away from her. And that might be true in some ways.

Or maybe not having your daughters wear hijab when they are younger just makes it more difficult for them to wear it when they are older. It’s hard, when you’ve been used to something your whole life, to get up and change it all at once. It can take a long time to change your mind.

Anyway, I used to love making a “show” of myself, especially since I wasn’t at all bad looking. And that was the most difficult part. I used to love dressing up and buying expensive clothes, and I loved it when everyone was looking and pointing at me. I loved it when people would say, “Wow! She’s beautiful!”

After finishing high school, I decided to go to the United States to get my degree. There, I saw  something I had never seen before: a Muslim community. It felt like I’d come across an amazing society, with these wonderful Muslims. There they were, practicing Islam differently from the cultural practices we’d grown used to.

You see, Muslims in the Gulf area are born Muslim. Arabs sometimes feel like they don’t have to ask questions because everything is obvious. We don’t have to think about faith or believing in God, because we were raised “with Islam” and everyone around us is Muslim. Yet often, the case is that we don’t really know what Islam is, nor do we know how it feels to live amongst all these different religions and a people.

I realized for the first time that people in the Gulf didn’t always practice a pure version of Islam; much of it was a mix between religion and culture. So many things I thought were Islamic turned out to be cultural beliefs; some of them even turned out to be absolutely against Islam. I learned that Islam was not the beliefs and practices full of nonsense that we’d been raised on, that we’d had in our culture for so, so long. The real Islam, I learned, is only the Qur’an and Sunnah. Nothing more, nothing less.

When people in the States found out I was Muslim, they would ask so many questions about Islam; and most of the time, I didn’t have an answer. So I started searching and looking in Islamic books and on the internet about Islam, researching “the real thing.” I felt like I was someone who had never heard anything about Islam before. I learned so many things I never knew.

I started going to the masjid and sitting down with brothers and sisters talking and discussing Islamic matters. Until then, I had never gone to a single masjid in my country or even thought about it, although we had thousands of masajid back home. All the sisters in the masjid were wearing hijab except for me; and they were all American except for me.  And they were all so proud to wear it, I respected them so much for that. I started to think about  hijab all the time.

And I started to have so many dreams about wearing the hijab. I began developing these strange feelings about myself. Whereas before, like I said, I loved being the center of attention, now I hated it when someone was looking at me. It made me feel like I was only a picture, an image without a heart or a brain. So I finally decided to go for it and wear the hijab.

It was the best choice I had ever made. For the first time in my life, I felt like a strong person. Because I could stand up for what I believed in, and didn’t care what people thought or how they would look at me.

The first day of hijab was the best. I had never felt so good, so proud of myself, in all of my life as I did on that day. My friends and relatives didn’t believe I could do it. And everyone said I wouldn’t keep it up for long. That maybe one of the things that pushed me to keep it on until this day.

I had to go through a fight with my self. A self which had always loved this life and tried to enjoy it as much as it could. Now was the time for me to say “Stop,” and I did. After a while, everyone started to respect me; no one had treated me like that before. Everyone respected me so much because they now felt like I was a religious person. And what gave them that perception? The hijab.

I can go anywhere now, and no one will look at me like I’m an image or a mannequin on display. And despite that, I still dress up and put makeup when I’m with my sisters, and it turns out it’s much more fun that way.

I believe that Allah commands hijab to help us and to make our lives easier. It builds respect between men and women. It’s a matter of  keeping your body to your self, and to whoever Allah allows you to show it to (your mahram). And for women, I feel like it’s a way for us to show that we’re Muslim. Jewish men wear the yarmulke on  their heads, and Christians wear a cross. They’re not ashamed to show it to public, no one would think badly about them.

A woman wearing hijab reminds herself that she’s Muslim. Hijab helps us stay away from mistakes or falling into sins. If we can wear hijab, then we’re strong enough to do any thing, to go through any problems we might face in life. People around will trust us because we’re confident, because we trust and respect ourselves.

Don’t you think your body is important? Don’t you think your body is valuable?  You don’t need anyone to tell you that you’re beautiful, because you already know it. And you don’t need someone to look at you as if you’re a stunning image, because you’re a wonderful human being.

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Please note: As with most of our “Internet Finds,” we are not in touch with the writers, and copyrights belong to their respective sources.

I’m not a niqaabi. Thus, this article was not born out of self defense and will have no hint of it, inshaAllah. It is also worth mentioning that this is solely intended for the Muslims (both brothers and sisters), especially those who have welcomed the hijab.

My intention behind this is to stretch an amiable hand to a minority and achieve unity in this Ummah. I will also not touch upon the issue of whether the niqaab is obligatory or not inshaAllah. You can consult a scholar for that. Throughout this article, I will be talking about women who have chosen to wear the niqaab and have not been forced in any way. Although some people may frown at the title, I find it apt to call niqaabis as queens as an appreciation for their patience because more often than not, they have been scoffed at with hurtful labels like ’ghost’, ‘ninjas’, ‘jailed’, ‘tent’, etc. and the niqaabis have patiently endured it all. Such barbs coming from non-Muslims are understandable because perhaps they are ignorant about Islam, but most importantly, because they don’t believe. But when these same hurtful remarks come from Muslims, the effects are caustic and through this article, I wish to delineate just that.

The reason why I, being a hijabi, decided to write an article for this cause is:

The believers are but brothers, so make settlement between your brothers. And fear Allah that you may receive mercy. [Qur’an 49:10] And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favor of Allah upon you – when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers. [Qur’an 3:103].

Why are we, being believers, not willing to understand our sisters? We worship the same God and we believe in the same Quran. Despite our striking similarities, shall we allow a split among ourselves over a trifling scholarly difference of opinion? Some hide behind the debate on whether niqaab is obligatory or not to argue with niqaabis. As a matter of fact, many choose to wear the niqaab while believing it is not obligatory. Therefore, this is not always an issue of religious requirement. Perhaps, she is using it to save her life from a possible threat which we are not aware of. Perhaps, she is taking one harmless step further to improve her eemaan.

Let’s not judge dear brothers and sisters because Allah knows her situation and Allah is the Judge. Moreover, we love modesty, so as long as they are enhancing their modesty with niqaab, we should not have any qualms about it. They are trying to emulate none other than the Mothers of believers (whom we wish to emulate) in an attempt to please none other than Allah (whom we serve). We should commend them for their eemaan and steadfastness. All of this should strike a harmonious chord between us and our niqaabi sisters. I have witnessed a few Muslims joining non-Muslims in their tirade against niqaabis; ignoring the fact that the difference we share with the non-Muslims far outweighs the difference we share with niqaabis (it’s just a matter of a face-veil!).

Let not believers take disbelievers as allies [i.e. supporters or protectors] rather than believers. [Qur’an 3:28]

A very common misconception is that niqaabis “shut themselves up from the world” and therefore remain uneducated, unsocial, lifeless, and threatening (if they venture out of their homes that is). Before I proceed to elaborate on each of these stances, I urge my brothers and sisters to reflect; do you not see that these are the same allegations non-Muslims often cast upon hijabis? So why are we even thinking of inflicting the same pain on our niqaabi sisters?

By the Grace of Allah, I have had a glorious opportunity to interact with niqaabis and surprising as it may sound to some, they not only hold degrees of merit, but they also work diligently both at home and outside. They are also as feminine and bubbly as any woman would be. I can assure you that their warmth of amity can beat the winter blues! Before deeming them as threats, we should really bear in mind that these women are willing to cooperate with security checks. It is quite paradoxical if we begin to criticize everything that is being misused. For example, should we blame the knife which can be used for both slicing bread and injuring a person?

The most important statement that we should read again and again is this:

O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. [Qur’an 49:11]

It is important to recognize that our speech and actions have an impact on ourselves as well as the entire community. In light of this, should we pose as tests of patience for our sisters?

And We have made some of you [people] as trial for others – will you have patience? And ever is your Lord, Seeing [Qur’an 25:20].

Remember that the trials of niqaabis are very similar to trials of hijabis; judgment based on looks instead of character and intelligence. So let’s take a stand against unfair treatment [for all].

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Habibihalaqas.org is a by-sisters, for-sisters initiative. You can join them at their Facebook page here: http://facebook.com/habibihalaqas

In His eyes, she was beautiful. He understood all that she did in order to attract His attention. He knew that she only thought of impressing Him, that she had taken His preferences as her own and that she was trying in every possible way to surrender to them. He noticed every tiny detail that she so carefully arranged in her appearance for His sake alone. He kept account of her progress and He appreciated every one of her struggles. He admitted that still had a long way to go, but He thought her sincerity was endearing. No, she wasn’t perfect on the outside and definitely far from perfect on the inside, but all that she was doing made her, in His eyes, beautiful.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

…At least, that’s what she had heard. She had decided that Allah, God, was her Beholder. She then realized that she could not define beauty herself or let anyone else define it for her. She had come to the conclusion that He was the only One to please, so she embarked on the journey of discovering what beauty was in His eyes. As she learned day by day, she practiced day by day. She slowly started to beautify herself according to His standards.

In His eyes, it was beautiful that she should cover her hair. So she took the first and biggest step. She stopped showing her hair in public and starting wearing the hijab, headscarf, even though she feared how those around her would react to such a drastic change.

In His eyes, it was beautiful that she should dress to hide the shape of her body. She started to wear looser clothing, even though it hung awkwardly from her petite frame. She switched to wearing skirts and dresses, even though she wanted to go on a hike at the beach or had to slosh to her classes around campus in the pouring rain.

In His eyes, it was beautiful that her face should appear in its natural state. She stopped wearing make-up altogether, even if it was only for a few hours on Eid or for her cousin’s wedding. She stopped using the powders, liquids, and pencils, even though she could mask her imperfections and bring out her features. She also stopped plucking her eyebrows, even though they were a little misshapen and slightly unkempt and even though almost everyone else continued to shape theirs.

At every step of her journey she was tested in her commitment to pursuing the standards of His beauty alone, and not becoming distracted in pursuing the other standards of beauty that were around her. But the further she kept going, the more she heard the others. The others had their own definitions of beauty, and hardly any of their definitions matched His.

She had already defeated her desires and placed His definition of beauty over her own, but it was overcoming the opinions of the others, those who saw her and interacted with her, that was most difficult. Their thoughts would turn into words, and sometimes the words would get too loud to ignore.

They had a lot to say. Some said that she should be free to express her beauty the way she wanted to and not how she was told to. Some said that she looked strange and would never fit in. Some said that if she didn’t look like the girls in the magazines, she wasn’t worth much. Some said that she was taking covering too far, that they were happy she was wearing the scarf but she should stop fussing with all of the “extra” things she was doing. Some said she would look better with some make-up on, that if it was just a little and it was no big deal. Some said she would never get married, dressing so conservatively and looking so plain. Some said that what’s inside is all that matters, and that she didn’t need to be modest or care what was on the outside.

Some of what they had to say would hurt. Some of them came from strangers, some from her friends, and some even from her family. Deep down she knew that what He thought was beautiful meant more to her than what they thought was beautiful. She had to detach from them completely. She knew what true beauty was and that she wanted to appear beautiful in His eyes, not in theirs.

She learned. She learned to cope with what the others had to say. She learned how to accept complements and how to deflect negative comments. She learned that she is responsible for maintaining her self-confidence and upholding her own respect. She learned to stop caring about what the others would think because she could never impress everyone and would get lost if she tried. She learned that she could not fully understand the wisdom behind what He thought was beautiful, but that she would comply fully to His standards. She learned that He is enough for her and that all of her strength comes from Him. She learned to love herself for wanting to be beautiful in His eyes and she learned to love herself because she kept trying. She learned that becoming beautiful is a process that never ends and to never stop fighting to achieve the excellence that she craved. She learned that outside beauty was only part of the beauty that He wanted from her. She learned to stop judging others around her, both their external and internal appearances. She learned that it wasn’t wrong to care about how she looked, as long as she knew Who she was trying to impress. She learned that true beauty exists only in His eyes.­­­­­

She prays that everyone will want to take His beauty as their own. She prays that she will be steadfast in achieving His beauty. She prays that His beauty comes to her not only on the outside, but also on the inside. She prays that He will send her a man who sees and loves His beauty in her. She prays that she will die with His beauty. She prays that she will be brought back to life and live forever with His beauty. She prays that she is beautiful, in His eyes.

الحمد لله اللهم كما أحسنت خلقي فاحسن خلقي

Oh Allah as you have beautified my outward appearance, beautify my inner appearance (character).

(Du’a when looking in the mirror)

Some years ago, I was sitting with a friend of mine and she started telling me about her struggles with hijab after becoming Muslim. She had grown up Christian and accepted Islam while she was in college.

“For me, hijab was the hardest thing,” she said. “I just didn’t want to wear it. So I made every excuse I could. ‘It’s too hot.’ ‘I can’t breathe’.” She shook her head, remembering. “But the funny thing is, I didn’t realize I didn’t want to cover.

“Until one day I was talking to some sisters and I was making the same excuses. And the sisters started trying to convince me, but for everything they said, I had an answer. And we kept going back and forth. But then a sister said something that I really couldn’t respond to.” She paused. “‘Just makedu’aa. Pray that Allah makes it easy for you’.”

Her eyes grew distant, reflecting. “When she said that, I didn’t know what to say. In the back of my mind, I knew that if I asked Allah for help, I would wear hijab. And that’s when I knew I didn’t really want to cover.  I didn’t even ask Allah to help me. Because I didn’t want Him to.”

—

When I hear stories like these, I think of the depths of the human heart. I think of how we think we know ourselves and our intentions. But, really, we don’t.

For almost every one of us, there’s something we know we need to change but simply won’t. The issue may involve not wearing hijab, not praying regularly, watching inappropriate TV and movies, intermingling, having “boyfriends” or “girlfriends”… And for each, we have a convenient excuse, if we bother to make excuses at all.

But in Ramadan, a lot of unpleasant things come to surface because the devils are chained and the depths of our hearts are exposed.

Yet most of us still manage to wriggle out of obedience to Allah, and the excuses abound…

There’s no point in wearing hijab in Ramadan if I know I’m just going to take it off later…

I don’t want to be a hypocrite…

I know myself, and I’m not ready to change my life…

But in each excuse, there’s one key component that’s missing.

Allah.

I don’t mean His name is absent. For most of us, it’s actually Allah’s name we use to justify our wrong.

Allah is Forgiving. Allah knows my heart. Allah’s my judge…

Or our favorite…

When I change, I’ll do it for Allah, not because people asked me to…

Yet Allah says, “And make not Allah’s (name) an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly…” (2:224).

When we’re not blaming Allah for our sins, we’re blaming our natural human weakness. And it’s true; humans are weak. But the truth is that this isn’t our chief shortcoming.

But human weakness is the chief shortcoming for those with high emaan.

Those with low emaan have as their chief shortcoming a diseased heart.

The strong believers constantly strive to do what’s right, but because of human weakness, they inevitably fall short. But their energy is spent striving against sin, not giving in to it.

The weakest believers don’t even bother striving; they’re quite comfortable in their life of sin. Their energy is spent defending their sin, not fighting against it.

…I don’t want forgiveness. I don’t want to change. I like the wrong I’m doing…

This is what it really boils down to. Otherwise, we’d just make du’aa, and pray that Allah makes it easy for us to do what’s right, even if we fall short at times.

But it starts with wanting change. And that’s not an easy thing for the human heart, especially for those of us content with our low emaan and life of sin.

Yet…

All will be forgiven during the month of Ramadan, except those who do not want to be forgiven.

And who does not want to be forgiven?

Those who do not ask.

The month of Ramadan is, more than anything, a month of opportunity. It’s a time to set right things that are wrong. It’s a time to change course, even as you’ve no idea how you’ll walk that new path. It’s a time to ask for change, to beg for change, to cry for it—even if part of you doesn’t even want it.

And it’s okay if you have no idea how you’ll manage wearing hijab, praying regularly, shutting off that TV, or leaving alone those “cute” girls or guys.

It’s okay, because it’s not you you’re turning to for help.

It’s Allah.

And Allah is able to do all things.

Let us remember, too, that Allah is All-Forgiving. But, of course, to benefit from Allah’s Forgiveness, we first have to want it. And wanting forgiveness isn’t just saying we want it, or just uttering a prayer. It means we regret our sin. It means we hate our sin. And it means we take every step to avoid it.

And we never give up fighting against it.

That’s what it means to want Allah’s forgiveness.

That’s what it means to ask for it.

So it is upon each of us to closely examine our lives—and hearts—and ask ourselves a simple question.

Do you want forgiveness?

If our answer is yes, we know Who to turn to for help and guidance.

If our answer is no… well, there’s nothing for us to do except what we’ve always been doing.

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Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of the novels of the If I Should Speak trilogy and Realities of Submission. For the latest titles by Umm Zakiyyah, join her Facebook page.

This piece, titled “But I Don’t Want Forgiveness,” is copyright © 2010 by Al-Walaa Publications, All Rights Reserved. It was published earlier on Saudi Life, and is republished here with permission from the author.

“The month of Ramadan to the other months is like Yusuf to his brothers. So, just like Yusuf was the most beloved son to Ya’qub, Ramadan is the most beloved month to Allah.

A nice point for the nation of Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم) to ponder over is that if Yusuf had the mercy and compassion to say {“There is no reproach for you today…”} [Yusuf; 92], Ramadan is the month of mercy, blessing, goodness, salvation from the Fire, and Forgiveness from the King that exceeds that of all the other months and what can be gained from their days and nights.

Another nice point to think about is that Yusuf’s brothers came to rely on him to fix their mistakes after all those they had made. So, he met them with kindness and helped them out, and he fed them while they were hungry and allowed them to return, and he told his servants: “Carry their belongings with you so that they don’t lose them.” So, one person filled the gaps of eleven others, and the month of Ramadan is likewise one month that fills the gaps of our actions over the other eleven months. Imagine the gaps and shortcoming and deficiency we have in obeying Allah!

We hope that in Ramadan, we are able to make up for our shortcomings in the other months, to rectify our mistakes, and to cap it off with happiness and firmness on the Rope of the Forgiving King.

Another point is that Ya’qub had eleven sons who were living with him and whose actions he would see at all times, and his eyesight did not return because of any of their clothing. Instead, it returned due to Yusuf’s shirt. His eyesight came back strong, and he himself became strong after he was weak, and seeing after he was blind. Likewise, if the sinner smells the scents of Ramadan, sits with those who remind him of Allah, recites the Qur’an, befriends on the condition of Islam and faith, and avoids backbiting and vain talk, he will (by Allah’s Will) become forgiven after he was a sinner, he will become close after he was far, he will be able to see with his heart after it was blind, his presence will be met with happiness after it was met with repulsion, he will be met with mercy after he was met with disdain, he will be provided for without limit or effort on his part, he will be guided for his entire life, he will have his soul dragged out with ease and smoothness when he dies, he will be blessed with Forgiveness when he meets Allah, and he will be granted the best levels in the Gardens of Paradise.

So, by Allah, take advantage of this greatness during these few days and you will soon see abundant blessing, high levels of reward, and a very long period of rest and relaxation by the Will of Allah.

By Allah, this is the true relaxation…”

['Bustan al-Wa'idhin wa Riyad as-Sami'in'; p. 213-214]

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Reposted from the Milestones on the Road to Firmness in Faith blog. May Allah reward the translator and elevate his ranks in this world and the next.

A pertinent and beautiful video reminder about preserving our hayaa, especially for the youth, especially in the times we live in. Lecture and transcript below. Please share with others in whatever format is most beneficial to them.

Video:

Transcript:

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَن يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ
“And those who, when they have committed Fahisha (shameless acts) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; – and none can forgive sins but Allah – and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.” [Aal-Imran, 3:135]

Assalamu alaikum Qur’an Weekly – yet another reminder for you folks and myself, in regards to the wretched evil of shamelessness.

This is something that the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam feared the most for his followers, and particularly – I just want to be very realistic with you – I’ll share some advice from the Qur’an in regards to this ayah from Aal Imran with you. But before I do:

Look, we’re living in a time where you are constantly exposed to shamelessness. And you’re exposed to it so much, you’re desensitized to it. So when you see something lewd and vulgar – the first time when you do have your shame in tact, you get disturbed. But if you see it over and over and over again – you don’t even know what the big deal is. Why are people making such a big deal about it? And so you become desensitized, and then you start questioning, “Why does Allah make such a big deal of it? Why is it that it’s such an evil?”

Understand that when you see something corrupt, like something shameless, something lewd – something your eyes should not be exposed to… or you hear something your ears should not be exposed to… and you don’t find a problem with it anymore – it’s an indication that you’ve got a serious problem in your heart. Because your heart is not disturbed by sin anymore. Your heart is not disturbed by evil anymore.

That’s a problem. That’s a very deep, spiritual problem. And if you have that problem, then the rest of your iman, the rest of your faith – you will not be able to concentrate in your prayer, you’re not going to be able to cry when you ask Allah. Those things will disappear from your life. Because you have allowed for shamelessness to take over – to take over your life.

And today, you’re watching this and you have accounts on facebook, you have friends on facebook who have absolutely lewd and shameless pictures. I opened my account on facebook to try to get in touch with some of my cousins from abroad, and then people just want to be my friend – I don’t even check the account anymore. Because I’m scared, if I say “Yes, I want to be your friend” what picture I’m going to see. I’m terrified of that.

Why? Simply because we’ve opened the door, and we don’t feel like there’s a problem – not even a little bit. So this: whether it’s stuff you’re watching on the internet, stuff you see on TV, the kinds of things you say, the kinds of words you use (words can also be shameless), the kinds of language you use that’s shameless – these sorts of things, we’ve become desensitized to, and the more we become desensitized to it, the more spiritually we become bankrupt.

Now Allah says, in this ayah – He says:

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً
“And as for those who whenever they do an act of shamelessness” –

They look at something, they go somewhere, they do something, they’re with someone that they shouldn’t have been with, they do something they shouldn’t have done – any form of shamelessness. “Fahishatan” implies any of it – the slightest bit of it, and the worst of it, any of it.

ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ
“They immediately remembered Allah.”

They immediately remembered Allah.

Imagine you’re doing something shameless, your mother walks in on you. Your sister walks in on you. Your brother walks in on you. Your father walks in on you. Your friends see you do something. How humiliated would you be? How embarrassed would you be? How sorry would you feel? You would feel like scum. You would absolutely feel like scum. But now Allah is saying, “You want to save yourself from becoming shameless?” If you do fall into that act, and it’s inevitable that you will – it’s fine that it’s going to happen, but if it does happen, your remedy for protecting you from next time “thakaroo Allah” – immediately, they remembered Allah. Not even “thumma thakaroo Allah” or “fa thakaroo Allah” – immediately they remembered Allah. Immediately.

فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ
“And immediately they asked Allah to forgive their sins.

وَمَن يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ
“Who’s going to forgive your sins if not Allah, anyway?”

See, when you do something shameless, you feel really bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, shaytaan comes and says, “How are you going to talk to Allah now? What face are you going to show Him? First you do this, and now you think you’re going to pray to Allah? You hypocrite.” And so you say “Yeah, I shouldn’t talk to Allah, I’m scum.” And you become distanced from Allah. And shaytaan succeeds.

When you do something evil, especially an act of shamelessness, something that’s humiliating – you go and ask Allah azza wa jall to forgive, immediately.

And Allah puts a condition. You know, you could become addicted to that. “Yeah, I mess up, I watch this really terrible stuff, and then I ask Allah to forgive me. Ah, I’m pretty sure I’m going to do this next week again….” Allah says:

وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ
“They didn’t insist upon what they did.”

In other words, when you apologize to Allah, when you’ve begged Allah that you should ward yourself off from this shamelessness, then you knew in your mind – you’ve made a commitment in your mind, in your heart, that you’re not going to come back to it. If you do come back to it – we’re human beings, it might happen. But in your heart, there’s not even the slightest bit of a doubt that you’re abandoning this forever. You’re abandoning it forever. You can’t give up.

And maybe you’ve tried before, and you’ve failed. You gave it up, then you went back to it. You gave it up, then you went back to it. You gave it up, and you went back to it. So you start saying to yourself, “Yeah, I’ve done this enough times. Probably I’ll be back to it.” No – you’ve already failed. No matter how many times you’ve failed, you cannot have that attitude. That attitude alone means you are not sorry before Allah. You’re not sorry before Allah.

So those are just some things about the way we have to pray for getting out of the cycle of shamelessness.

Just a little bit of additional advice – practical advice, practically what can you do in addition to the prayer? One of the things you can do is: Don’t be alone. Just don’t be alone. Be with good company. If you have free time, when do you usually you end up in shameless activity? When you’re by yourself. So don’t be by yourself. If you have a laptop or a computer in your room and that leads you to problems – don’t keep it in your room. Or keep the door open. And if you’re going to be with company that leads you into shameless behavior, if you know you’re going to go somewhere where you’re going to see things that are inappropriate – try to change that scene. Try to get out of that scene.

Spend – especially if you’re in college, you have like four, five hour gaps in between classes and you’re doing whatever, in that time – why don’t you just go to the masjid, sit there and study? It’s a safe place, you can’t really mess up there, all that much. Hopefully they don’t have WiFi, right?

But the idea is: save yourself from putting yourself in situations where you know you fall into that stuff. There are certain places in your house or in your environment, in your world – when you’re in those places, you end up doing bad things, right? It just happens every time you’re in that room, or in that place, you end up doing bad things. Then you should be smart enough to know that and get away from that place. Don’t be there by yourself. Don’t be there alone.

This is something you have to teach yourself to do, because I tell you: if you’re not able to ward yourself off from shamelessness… and this is a problem for married people and non-married people, but I’m specifically talking to those of you who are not married. When you do get married, you will have messed up married lives. You’ll have messed up married lives. You will have no respect for your spouse. Because you have no respect for shame. Marriage is an act that shows respect for shame. But you’ve already lost all of that respect because of your addiction to… whatever. Right – you’ve lost all that respect.

So you will have ruined – you will have ruined your family life – you’re not going to be able to be a good husband, or a good wife, or a good parent for that matter. So you’ve ruined your entire life over this addiction. Get out of it while you can.

May Allah azza wa jall make us able to get rid of our addictions. May Allah allow us to have the gift of good company that keeps us from these shameless activities. I’m not even saying do religious activities. You can just find a healthy alternative. Play sports. Play some basketball, ping pong, whatever it is. But just don’t go into that specific thing. Save yourself from that – before you do good, at least do no harm. At least do that much.

May Allah azza wa jall protect all of us, especially our youth. I pray, sincerely, for all of you, and the protection of your own iman, and the iman of your family.

Barak Allahu lee wa lakum, wa assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

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This video is a production of Qur’an Weekly, and is reproduced here for the benefit of our readers, insha’Allah. You can view other awesome videos from Qur’an Weekly on their YouTube channel. Also make sure to visit their website, or join their Facebook page.

No one has the right to see anything of me that I don’t give them permission to see. It’s my right to choose who gets to see the best of me – and that will be the one who Allah gave the right to see me, the one who is halal for me, not some stranger. This is a man who will, insha’Allah, have the same feelings of love towards me, and will be willing to sacrifice for me like I sacrifice for him.

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9. Because I am precious.

There’s no way I’m going to degrade myself by becoming an object to be seen by the eyes of every man and stranger. And I’m not going to let anyone steal a glance at my bare body, so long as I can help it.

But I can’t stop the men from looking… and I apologize to my sister who does not wear the hijab, because there are those out there with weak souls that will look your way, even if you do not want it. That is why Allah made the hijab fard, so that those with weak hearts will not be tempted in the same way. I’m talking about those men who, wherever they walk or drive, are always looking at every woman they see. And they continue their search, because no amount of looking is enough for them – but I won’t let them see much of me.

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8. Because I respect myself.

I value myself and will not enter that sexual race where the prize is a vulgar word, a lustful glance, or the offer of an inappropriate friendship or relationship.

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7. Because my beauty isn’t just on the outside.

When my husband comes along, the one I will marry and give a part of my life to, the one I will share my hopes and dreams with, the one who will become the father of my children – he will not choose me because of my body, insha’Allah. I do not want him to love me for it; I want him to know me for who I really am, to love my personality, to respect my values. Beauty fades with age, but the soul does not. There are many women out there who choose to wear the hijab after they are married, thinking that is how they will win a husband over initially. But if it was beauty that won him over in the first place, it can win him over again with another woman.

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6. Because I fear for my brother in Islam.

The one I see at school or work or even on the bus, the one who’s struggling to please Allah by lowering his gaze. I do not want to be a hardship on him, and I do not want to be an obstacle in his path of closeness to Allah. How would I stand before my Lord bearing such a sin?

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5. Because I care about my brothers in Islam.

Many of these are brothers who, more than anything, want to get married to fulfill their desires in a permissible way, want to avoid haram glances – but they can’t get married yet because of their financial circumstances. I do not want to be a reminder of that to any of my brothers as he passes me, I do not want to be someone who arouses the desires he is trying so hard to control.

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4. Because the “zina” (fornication) of the eye is the glance.

The Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam said, “Every son of Adam has his share of zina. For the eyes may commit zina and their zina is looking…” [Bukhari, Muslim and Ahmed].

I want to protect myself from such glances. I don’t want to make such glances. I don’t want to be the object of such glances, either, and I certainly don’t want to be the cause of these glances. I don’t want anything at all to do with them.

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3. Because I care about my sister in Islam.

The woman who walks along with her husband as he glances at me, comparing us and thinking of all the different women there are out there, while she experiences the hurt and jealousy. One day I might be faced with the same thing, and even if I think I’m pretty… well, there’s always prettier.

—–

2. Because I fear for myself.

Then there’s another reason, a more important reason, and it’s the hijab: that hijab I will one day wear as part of my burial clothes. There’s one difference here – I won’t have a choice about whether I wear that hijab or not, so why not wear it in this life, while I have the choice to follow the command of Allah? Allah asks us to be modest even in our graves when no one will see us or value us, so why shouldn’t we do it while alive? I want to wear hijab before it’s too late to be rewarded for it, before it’s too late to avoid punishment for not wearing it. I would rather walk this earth obeying and pleasing my Lord because I choose to, rather than meeting Him on the Day of Judgment having displeased Him.

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1. Because Allah said so.

But in the end, these are all secondary reasons, all reasons that come after the most important reason of all: I wear my hijab to obey Allah and worship Him. Even if I did not know the wisdom behind hijab or have any other reason for wearing it, I would still wear it because He has asked me to. I choose to be of those who say, “We hear and we obey” [2:285].

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And that is why I wear my hijab, walhamdulilah. May Allah make the hijab a jewel to every Muslim woman, as it is to me.

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Loosely translated and adapted from an Arabic email forward.

Obligatory Conditions for Hijab

1. Covering all of the body

It is an agreed position by many respected scholars that the face and hands of the woman must [in addition to everything else] be covered. Some scholars say it is permissible to uncover the face and the hands of the woman as long as there is no fitnah (infatuation) caused by this action. Two things must be taken into consideration:

a) if she is beautiful and beautifies her face and hands with external substances, or

b) if the society around her is corrupt where men do not lower their gaze

Then it is prohibited for her [in both these scenarios]  to uncover her face and hands.

On the authority of the wife of the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam, Umm Salama radiya Allahu anha said:

“When the verse {That they should cast their outer garments over their persons} [33:59] was revealed, the women of the Ansar came out as if they had crows over their heads.” [Sahih Abi Dawud]

2.The hijab must not be a display

The hijab itself must not be a display. Allah ordained it so as to cover the beauty of women and not for showing off. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says,

“And not show of their adornment except only that which is apparent.” [24:31]

He also says,

“And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance.” [33:33]

It is in no way logical that the hijab itself be a source of display.

3. The hijab must not be transparent

The purpose of wearing hijab must be achieved. In order for the hijab to be a cover, it must not be made of transparent material making the woman covered only by name, while in reality she is naked. The Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam is quoted as saying,

“During the last days of my ummah there will be women who are clothed but naked, with something on their heads like the humps of camels. Curse them, for they are cursed.” Another hadeeth adds: “They will not enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.” [Narrated by Muslim]

This indicates that a woman could cause herself a grave and destructive sin if she puts on a garment that is thin and transparent and which clearly shapes her body’s features.

4. Hijab must be loose, and not tight

The hijab is a safeguard against fitnah. If it is tight, it will be descriptive of the woman’s body and this violates and defeats the whole purpose of hijab.

5.The hijab must not be perfumed

On the authority of Ad’Diya Al-Maqdisi, the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam said:

“Any woman who perfumes herself and passes by some people that they smell her scent, then she is a zaniyah (adulteress).” [Sahih an-Nasaa'i]

6. The hijab shouldn’t resemble the dress of a man

Imam Ahmed and an-Nasaa’i reported the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam to have said:

“Women who assume the manners of men are not from us and also those of men who assume the manners of women.” [Sahih al-Jami']

Further, Abu Huraira narrated that:

“The Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam cursed the man who wears the dress of a woman and the woman who wears the dress of a man.” [Sahih Abi Dawood]

7. The hijab must not resemble the garments of the kuffar

Abu Dawoud and Ahmed have related that the Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam said:

“The one who take the similitude (manner) of a certain people, then he/she becomes one of them.” [Sahih Abi Dawood]

Abdullah bin Umar radiya Allahu anhu said:

“The Prophet salla Allahu alayhi wasallam saw me wearing two garments dyed in saffron (orange), whereupon he said: ‘These are the clothes (usually worn) by the kuffar, so do not wear them.’” [Sahih Muslim]

8.The hijab should not be for fame

Abu Dawoud and Ibn Majah have related the prophet to saying:

“The one who wears a garment designed for a worldly fame, Allah will make them wear a garment of humility on the Day Of Resurrection then he will be set ablaze.” [Musnad Ahmad, and it is Sahih]

The garment of fame is any garment a person wears to make themselves look famous. This applies whether the garment is highly precious and shows admiration to the life of this world or if it is chosen of a low quality to show lack of interest to this worldly life. The person may put on clothes with distinct colours so as to draw attention, act proudly and/or arrogantly.

Concealed ways of display: Examining the various conditions about the hijab one can clearly recognize that many of the young Muslim women are not fulfilling these conditions. Many just take “half-way” measures, which not only mocks the community in which she lives, but also mocks the commands of Allah sunbhanahu wa ta’ala. They consider what they put on now wrongly as “hijab.” So, O Muslims, be mindful to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and His Messenger salla Allahu alayhi wasallam, and do not deceived by those who “bless” this action of yours and conceal their true intentions.

If you are sincere in achieving Jannah, then be mindful of these things, insha’Allah.

Article from the University of Essex Islamic Society. Via IslamWorld.