Hijab – It is an idea I have grown up with. It was not the result of a life-changing event or a sudden religious epiphany. I started covering my hair (on and off at the beginning) when I was about ten years old. Before you jump to any conclusions – let me make it clear that my parents did not force me into it. But it wasn’t until much later that I actually started wearing the ‘Hijab’ – until I learnt that true Hijab was more than a piece of cloth that covered your hair.

I always liked the idea of wearing hijab when I was younger- it made me feel special though I couldn’t really put a finger on why that was. Hijab was not something I dived into headfirst; I waded into it step by step. And by wading into it I don’t mean I put it on piece by piece – rather I mean I learned to appreciate the value of it day by day as I got a little older and just a tad bit wiser!

I learnt over the years that Hijab is not just a headscarf, long sleeves, and a garmet that flows to my ankles. I learnt that hijab is a way of life. It is the way you walk down the street. It is the tone of your voice when talking to members of the opposite sex. It is the places you hang out in after school and the friends you have around you all the time. Simply put – It is the way you carry yourself. A scarf on your head cannot simply define who you are. You can wrap a pashmina around your head but still be a flirt. You can wear long sleeves but still l look at all the wrong thngs. You can be covered from head to toe and still not be in a state of Hijab (and yes, here I refer to Hijab as a state you are in, not just an object wrapped around your head). However, the way you carry yourself can define the person you are. The way you walk can show modesty. The way you talk can earn you respect. The places you hang out in can show your values. And the friends you have can be a reflection of who you are.

When you think of Hijab the right way – It does not seem constraining or opressive. Rather, you will realize that it is a shield that is handed to you so you can better protect yourself – not a weapon of cruelty used to unnecessarily torture you.

The next time you walk down the street in your Hijab, remember that it is about more than just your headscarf. Remember that Allah wants you to be protected. Allah wants you to be protected because you are special – very, very special! For who would go through all the effort to protect something that was worthless in the first place?

As she was about to step out of the room, she looked back at her reflection in the mirror: a face devoid of makeup framed by a hijaab that draped over her bosom stared back at her; her whole body was enveloped in a black abaya that flowed down to her feet. Yet, she thought sadly, I’m not complete –I hope for the day that I won’t have to expose my face in front of the world either.  As she walked with slow but steady steps down the street towards the Masjid, she looked like the ideal Muslimah: gaze lowered, well-covered, tall, strong, and confident. She had come a long way to get to this stage; hers was a story of a rise, a fall, and a rise again. How did she get to this stage? This is how it all started…

She was a whole lot of fun: the cool chic around the block who knew all the latest songs and could wind to the latest beats. She was a young fashionista who loved the “bling” image she portrayed. She turned heads and giggled at catcalls and whistles she heard whenever she walked by. She lived a life of love songs, romance novels, clothes, jewellery, and dreams of a ‘prince charming.’ She dreamed of being a beauty queen and travelling all over the world but her family wanted her to get into college first before getting into any contest. She observed Salah only when she felt like it, and forgot the little part of the Qur’an she had memorized at her local Madrasah. The only Muslim identity she had was her name.

Before getting into college, she met a girl who changed her orientation of hijaab. She started to wear a little head scarf but still wore the kind of clothes she loved and this drew even more attention towards her because now she was drawing the attention of the ‘hip’ Muslim boys as well. When she started college she started to move around with more Muslims and learned a lot more about her Creator, the hijaab, and Islam in general. She found it hard though to change her way of life because she still considered herself a ‘good girl’ even though her little hijaab was a big source of fitnah; and she definitely didn’t want to stop her regular activities like listening to music. She wanted the easy Islam or the ‘contemporary Islam’ as it is called.

Then one day she decided to wear the Jilbab but her family wouldn’t hear of it. A little persuasion from them was all it took to get her to even take off the little hijaab she was wearing, and replace it with a skull cap and even tighter clothes. Then the fall began! She stayed away from the Masjid and from the members of the young ummah who tried calling her back to the right path. Once again she became a Muslim just by name and it wasn’t long until she found her prince charming. She fell head over heels in love with a boy from school who was also a Muslim by name and she became involved in what could be called a whirlwind romance. Now there was no stopping her. She started earning nicknames like ‘flymuslimah’, getting silly award nominations in her class for her beauty and style and she was siimply loving it!

Her romance with prince charming got more heated up: candles, nights out, flowers, holding hands, and staring at the stars just like in the movies and before she knew it, she had fallen into the forbidden. She wasn’t ready for marriage and neither was he. They both continued and promised each other to love each other until death without even thinking of Allah’s Wrath. They just wanted to be in love and eventually get married.

After graduation, the romance continued and her family was in full support of it without even planning to make the union legal. A sister of hers decided to give her inspirational Islamic books hoping that she may one day find the time to read  them instead of the romance novels she was used to. She actually did read them and the realization of what she had done finally overcame her. She became repentant and called it quits with prince charming. She started to read more Islamic literature, observe more Salah, turned back to the Qur’an and made efforts to find her soul again. She came across the verse in the Qur’an and her hope was restored.

Say: O My slaves who have transgressed  against themselves! Do not despair of the Mercy of Allah,Verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [39:53]

Taking up the hijaab again wasn’t very easy for her though. She wanted to please Allah by obeying His dictates yet she felt like she had already been too exposed to evil and there was nothing worth covering anymore. Each time she tried wearing it, she felt empty and felt like she was only covering up trash. She always ended up in tears and fear. However, learning more about the hijaab, it’s rulings, and the punishment for not wearing it made her feel very uncomfortable going out without it. She also saw that the only thing stopping her from wearing it again was Shaytan’s plot to continue to mislead her by making her think she wasn’t worth wearing hijab. She read the story of the man who killed ninety-nine men and also killed the monk who told him that he couldn’t be forgiven and she realized that if she really was sincere in her repentance, she needed to turn completely away from the things that led her to sins.  She cringed each time she passed by and a guy did so much as look at her twice or stare at her face too long. So she started by covering up her body a bit more. Her family began to notice the sudden change and wondered what was going on with her. One day she braced up and took up her hijab once more. This time around however, she faced her family with steadfastness when they told her to take off her hijab again. She took her strength from the stories of the Sahabah (companions) and hoped that insha’Allaah, her repentance would be accepted in the sight of Allah and that she may be included amongst the dwellers in Jannah.

Now she dedicates her time to calling other sisters to the path of Allah. She tries as best as she can never to turn back to anything that will lead her astray. She turns and looks back at the times she was astray as a test, as a way of never feeling secure from the Plan of Allah. She knows now that a believer should always live in a state of love, fear, and hope of Allah. Most of all now, she knows the real essence of hijaab and the proper way it should be worn to avoid being a source of fitnah for herself and those around her.

 Often times we lose sight of what our true purpose is in life. And yet, there are reminders all around us.  

Our preoccupation with life gets in the way of our dedication to religion. Our “life” gets in the way of salat. Our “life” gets in the way of remembering Allah ta’ala. Our day may revolve around our education, our children, our parents, our wants, our earnings. Our busy days often distract us from our true purpose, pleasing Allah.

However, we have been blessed with reminders to guide us back to our true purpose in life. A beautiful and practical reminder is the blessing of hijab. Use your hijab as your aid in remembering Allah as often as you can. So, even when you get up for school or work, when you step in front of that mirror to put on your hijab, don’t worry so much about how well it matches or if it’s perfectly pinned. Instead, worry about whether or not it’s fulfilling its purpose. Throughout the day, when you see your reflection in a window or when you take a moment to tuck in the strand of hair, look at your hijab and remember what it represents.

Is it reminding you that you are a Muslim? Is it reminding you that you are a believer in the one Lord? Is it reminding you to praise Allah?

We can use these moments to remember that what we have on our head represents what we believe in our hearts. It is the perfect opportunity to gain blessings. Simple dhikr during those moments can increase our good deeds. So even if you are having a busy day with running errands, working or shuffling from one class to another, you can use your hijab not just for modesty, but to remember Allah every chance you get!

My story may relate to many people because my search for answers is also someone else’s. This semester at my university has taught me very important lessons, and I wanted to share my thoughts on this subject of how I came to wear the hijab. I hope my words don’t offend anyone in any way, but I wish the readers to take me sincerely and to hear me out.

I know people will always judge, no matter what we do. We judge others from the outside, and we always want to know the reason behind everything, don’t we?

So for the hijab, some might say, “Well why should I cover my hair?” Some may say, “Yeah modesty is a beautiful thing” and yet some may say “yeah guys like modest girls.” While others may still say, “I believe that it’s all in the heart, and all we need is the right intention” and so on and so forth.

However with me, ever since I started taking biology courses in high school, I always wanted to know the truth behind my life, the reason behind the creation of this world, the reason behind what is happening and has happened in the past, and I wanted answers to everything.

But the moment that truly opened my eyes was my car accident a few years back. Alhamdulillah, due to Allah’s Mercy, I was saved, but not my car and the cars in front of me. The fear that entered my heart at that point, forced me to reflect, “Am I really ready to die?”

Then after that incident,  I started to question my inner self and my ways, and slowly approached the Qu’ran. Although Arabic is my mother tongue, I had to read it in English, with the full translation and tafseer (explanation), to fully understand the message behind the verses.

Before this, I had never really asked myself, what does my Creator want from me? What pleases Allah? What is going to happen after I die? Will my grave truly be my “resting” place? What will the consequences of doing a bad deed or even a good deed be?

Also, I had always known that women in Islam are supposed to wear the hijab and be covered, but I never really felt like I was ready for it. But once a teacher advised me with an excellent piece of advice: “Before wearing the hijab, focus on your daily prayers first.”

I took that advice to heart, and I would carry with me my prayer clothes, abaya and head scarf, and a prayer rug wherever I went! That meant, I literally had to stick to my daily prayers at any place and any time –no excuses. I even took it with me to the gym, when I went out with friends, and to work.  I will be honest: in the beginning, it was little intimidating praying in public; but alhamdulillah it felt so peaceful after every prayer prayed on time.

So once I was praying ‘Asr, and suddenly a spark came, and I felt like I was ready for the hijab.
At first I thought “Oh how convenient! Now I will be able to pray wherever I am and at any place –I’m all set!” (i.e. that I have my prayer equipment ready). Yet, I felt like there was more to it than just that; more to the hijab than just covering the hair and body for prayer.

I decided that I wanted to represent my faith and practice it right.

—

Family and friends reacted overseas by saying, “Oh how nice of you to wear that in America!” But then I thought: how does living in America make it different than any Muslim country? Are we following culture or are we following Islam? Is Islam just a religion where we pray and believe in God and then do whatever we want for the rest of the time? If we properly study Islam, study what our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to do and what he called to, we will come to realize that it is the WAY OF LIFE.

Therefore, my passion for my hijab doesn’t just stop here –it continues. It continues by passing on the same advice to my brothers and sisters that my teacher passed on to me: Focus on the 5 daily prayers first.

It is true what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala’s says in the Qur’an:

Recite that which has been revealed to you of the Book and keep up prayer; surely prayer keeps (one) away from indecency and evil. And certainly the remembrance of Allah is greater, and Allah knows what you do. [29:45]

Also, I have come across people that say “Well I do good deeds here and there, and isn’t that what a good Muslim does? Doesn’t intention count?” Yes and yes and yes. But then what caused Iblis (Shaytan) be pushed out of paradise? Not prostrating to Allah and becoming arrogant. He was too arrogant to prostrate down despite His Lord’s command. So what does that make us?

This is why I can’t judge anyone, looking at where I first was and where I am now. Who has guided me but Allah? However, if it wasn’t the first step I took of keeping up with my Salah, I wouldn’t have end up here. With every step you take forward towards Allah, tests and challenges will come facing you. But that’s not because Allah doesn’t love you, but because He wants to help YOU become stronger.

In addition, I started out taking it slow, one step at a time. Every Friday prayer I would wear the hijab to the Masjid and listen to khutbah as my “learning” time. I personally like to take baby-steps and not push myself into something, while forgetting the rest. Just as the Qu’ran says to wear the hijab, it also contains other commandments that we shouldn’t neglect. So when I wore the hijab, I asked myself, okay, now that I’m following one thing, am I also following the other orders?

It’s funny though, how in this normal struggle to come closer to Allah, people closest to me may label me as “religious” or whatever term they want. But I smile and think to myself, I am just a typical human who is trying to search for truth and  work hard to learn about Islam, something which I’m already born into. I see some converts and mashaAllah, they are much ahead of me in following and keeping up with knowledge about the Deen, so I think, where does that place me?

Why take a gift, an honor, the privilege to be a Muslim for granted? Why turn away from Qu’ran when it’s right there, easy to reach to just open and read once in a while, not just during Ramadan?

Moreover, I met a convert at an event through my MSA, and she said to us, “I used to look at Muslims and judge them. But then I came to realize that they are not perfect, Islam is!” To me, that was thought-provoking because it is true: we are not perfect. But why shouldn’t we work on our weakness and improve and implement our knowledge into actions –and not to please other people, but to please Allah?

So in trying to implement this I took the example of working out. Just as I keep track of my sets and reps, and I keep track of my cardio in weekly goals, I started keeping track of my prayers and my weekly goals that I needed to work on myself and just do a self-check.  Because after all, I thought, before I pass judgment on any one, I am being judged at every moment.

And further, what actually opened my eyes were the days I went to court for my driving tickets and when I had to stand all alone in front of the judge with  my own “record” and evidences to prove me innocent. Nervous as I was, I thought to myself, isn’t it going to be the same thing on Day of Judgment? Aren’t I going to be responsible for my own actions and careless mistakes that I’ve made? My only evidence to prove me innocent will be my own record in this life.

Life is so precious, and I hope I never ever take anything for granted; it’s hard because I too, sometimes attribute my success to myself, but that is not true. My success didn’t come from me, it came from Allah.

I’m grateful I had parents and family members reminding me to get up and pray, and hearing the adhan in my home country served as a constant reminder. Here, though, it’s different, but not difficult. At college there is more freedom of choice, and actual prayer places are available. Alhamadulillah Allah also sent me the right people to remind me and support me, and I was surrounded by righteous friends. I could not have done it on alone –but together, as one ummah, and as true friends, we can stick together to remind each other of the truth.

From Surah al ‘Asr: “By time, verily Man is in loss. Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and join together in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy.” [103]

A well-researched treatise on the subject of hijab by guest author T. Husayn.

Hijab: A Muslim Male Perspective

The topic of hijab is one that evokes and provokes. It generates within all of us a plethora of thoughts and emotions. The web and media are replete with opinions of Muslim women and politicians on this sensitive topic. Some non-Muslims have used hijab as a springboard to unleash virile anti-Islamic polemics. Here I wish to share some thoughts on hijab from the perspective of a Muslim male living in America and preempt any perceptions of dogma by providing relevant evidences. Hijab is such a grand concept that one cannot write about it except with awe.

According a 2007 Pew Research Center report on Muslim Americans, only 38% of Muslim women wear hijab all the time whereas 48% do not wear any head covering at all. As a side note and interesting factoid, 48% of Muslim American women pray the obligatory prayers five times a day compared to 34% of Muslim men. The sisters as a whole are undoubtedly keener to hold fast to the religion. Yet the issue of hijab bifurcates Muslim women and creates tension.

Why do the majority of Muslim American women not wear the hijab? What are the reasons that some choose to wear the hijab? What does a Muslim man think of hijab and how does its adoption or lack thereof affect him? These are questions I will attempt to answer below.

Women who choose not to wear the hijab come under many categories, some of which are as follows:

1. Women who deny the obligation of hijab

2. Women who think that hijab is “only strongly recommended” but not obligatory

3. Women who do not feel naturally shy when wearing revealing outfits outside the home and have mentally and physically adopted the dress code of the occident

4. Women who want to wear the hijab but are afraid of the consequences in the form of occupational discrimination, stares, glares, comments, family resistance, spousal resistance, etc.

5. Women who state something to the effect of: “I don’t need to wear hijab because Allah knows my heart is clean and I don’t do bad things”

6. Women who state something to the effect of: “I don’t have to wear the hijab, there is no compulsion in religion”

The first two categories of women should be advised (gently, kindly) and shown extensive evidences from the Qur’an & Prophetic traditions (Sunnah) that unequivocally prove the obligation of wearing hijab. Allah jalla wa ‘alaa states in His Book:

{O Prophet! Tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should draw over themselves their jilbab (outer garments) (when in public); this will be more conducive to their being recognized (as decent women) and not harassed. But God is indeed oft-forgiving, most merciful} (33:59)

{And know that women advanced in years, who no longer feel any sexual desire incur no sin if they discard their thiyab (outer garments), provided they do not aim at a showy display of their zeenah (charms or beauty). But it is better for them to abstain (from this); and God is all-hearing, all-knowing} (24:60)

It is amazing that Allah informs us that even for an older woman who is given leeway with hijab, it is better that she still wears it. Then what about young sisters in their teens, twenties and thirties when their charms are still in full bloom?

As for the third category of women who have lost innate shyness, they must also be cajoled gently. The innate modesty and shyness that girls possess must be nurtured early on in life by inculcating the wearing of hijab pre-puberty. Indeed we see many little girls in Muslim countries and in American mosques wearing hijab. It is a most wondrous and dignified sight! While some people see imprisonment in a hijab, the one who possesses haya sees emancipation and protection therein. As these same little girls grow older, hijab becomes a natural part of their attire till they feel extremely shy to take that off except in front of mahrams. We must remind ourselves that Imaan encompasses the concept of modesty and shyness.

There are more than 70 branches of Iman (Faith). The foremost is the declaration that there is no god except Allah and the least of it is removing harmful things from the path. And haya is a branch of Iman. [Bukhari, Muslim]

The innate shyness and sense of modesty is chipped away in Muslim children through a surreptitious onslaught of subliminal messages on television programs. Little Muslim girls may be swayed on one hand to wear the hijab by the parents whilst be swayed to imitate the likes of Hannah Montana and other ‘role models’ who ultimately cause confusion, vacillation, and at times secret rebellion as the girl hits adolescence. Strictly controlling access to or minimizing television viewing to only educational programs and innocuous cartoons may be a way to nurture that innate shyness.

As for those women who use the ‘there is no compulsion in religion’ rule, they misunderstand the context which is intended to address forced conversions into the religion of Islam. In the Sunnah we find our Rasool (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) instructing us to rebuke our children who do not pray Salaah after a certain age. Is that compulsion? No. When the people refused to give Zakaah at the time of Abu Bakr and he fought them, was that compulsion? No. These were examples of ‘compulsion’ only linguistically and semantically but not Islamically.

As for the rest of the categories of women, and for all Muslims for that matter, hijab ultimately is about submission to the will of Allah and his commandments.

{And obey Allah and His Messenger that you may obtain Mercy} (3:132)

{It is not fitting for the believing man or for the believing woman, that when Allah and His Messenger have decreed any matter, that they should have any option in their decision…} (33:36)

Thus the wearing of hijab in its essence is tied to faith. Am I more afraid of what my employer-to-be thinks in an interview because of my beard or my hijab or am I more afraid of the One who created me? Am I worried about losing ephemeral fair-weather friends if I don the hijab or wear a beard or should I rather be happy with earning the favors of the One without whom I would not even exist? Such constant and rigorous self-reminders and trust in Allah are part and parcel of the arsenal of the Muslim.

Of the Muslim women who wear the hijab some don it as a cultural practice. Some don it to fit in with college cliques. Some don it for reasons of identity and for making counter-cultural self-expressionist statements. A few do it out of coercion. Then there are those who do so purely out of faith and submission to Allah. If a Muslim woman wears a hijab for any other reason except submission to Allah, she is liable to fall into self-doubt, confusion, and influence of others who call her to discard her hijab. An article on Slate explores how Muslim women at times abandon the hijab and if one pontificates deeply on the underlying cause, one finds that when they wore hijab the first time, they wore it for reasons other than for pleasing Allah alone.

Why is this important? Because today there are women who don the headscarf and think they are wearing hijab. However, the contours of their figures are evident due to figure hugging dresses or tight jeans. Such sisters are oblivious to the fact that they are not wearing hijab. The loose clothing that is part of hijab is not something that is readily evident to some sisters. During college, I encountered many sisters on campus who wore head coverings but did not have the requisite looseness of the clothes. To compound this problem is a bigger one and that is that some Muslim sisters who have worn the hijab have only worn the hijab on their physical beings but not on their hearts or their minds. Such sisters freely mix, laugh, wear make-up, spritz perfume, and talk softly and coquettishly at length and without good reason to the opposite gender and nothing differentiates them from any other woman except the head scarf that is apparent. Some sisters who do not wear the hijab, actually use the examples of such sisters to decline wearing the hijab! There is a concept of hijab in speech as well.

Allah ‘azza wa jal revealed: O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women; if you fear (Allah), then do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should feel desire (for you). (Al-Ahzaab: 32)

The first time I encountered how a Muslim woman practices hijab in speech was when in college, my roommate and I had a visitor from Afghanistan whose wife was a Chechnyan who was covered from head to toe. To give them complete ease my roommate and I stayed with friends for a few days so they had our apartment to themselves as a couple. We would then check in occasionally with the brother to ensure all was well. On one of those check-in calls, the wife picked up the phone because the brother was occupied and she only spoke essentials and had a very strict demeanor and non-softness in her voice. Desire was the furthest thing from my mind at that point and I contrasted her style of speech to that of the short shorts-wearing, smiling, and inviting visage of nightingale voiced college blondes in class. The contrast was stark and immediate. The former crushed desire, whilst the latter required us to practice utmost restraint and exercise patience.

So what does true hijab do for a Muslim man? Firstly, many women are aghast at the very thought that their scanty clothing may lead to lecherous men making advances on them. How can a man dare to shift responsibility for their vile actions to women no matter how liberally the women are dressed? Why is the onus of men’s advances put squarely on women’s demeanor and dress? Can’t men just control themselves? Yes, we can and should but the responsibility is dual – i.e. it belongs to both the man and the woman. Allah tells women to wear the hijab because

{…this will be more conducive to their being recognized (as decent women) and not harassed}.

Is Allah relieving men of their responsibilities for harassing women? Absolutely not! But He, the Creator of both men and women, knows our souls and our inclinations better than we ourselves do. To that end, along with commanding men and women to lower our gazes, He tells us that if women wear the hijab, they will be recognized as decent women and not harassed. This is factually, logically, evolutionarily, biologically, socially, theologically, and empirically true! If there are 20 lecherous men amongst 100 men and a scantily clad young woman passes in front of them, then the vast majority of the men will have a difficult time to control their gaze and 20 lecherous of the 100 may whistle, comment, accost, or even harass the woman whilst the other men even whilst restraining themselves may have their desires provoked. Now compare that to a woman who is fully veiled and walking without her adornments showing. In that case even the lecherous 20 will very likely leave the hijabi sister alone. If they don’t then most assuredly there will be amongst the remaining 80 men who will come to her defense as the sight of hijab on a woman commands respect, dignity, and brings out chivalry in men. I know some sisters will protest vociferously at this ‘idealistic’ view because some of them were harassed in markets in Karachi or Cairo even whilst donning the hijab. Be that as it may, the underlying concept of the proportionality and probability of harassment increasing as the clothing of a woman decreases cannot be denied.

A woman who hears hijab has the collective recognition and protection of honorable Muslim men. I refer the reader to the famous incident at the time of our Rasool (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) where the hijabi sister in Madeenah was harassed by jewelers such that part of her ‘awrah was revealed as she stood up. A Muslim man nearby witnessed this and came to her aid and was killed by the ones who pulled the prank on the poor sister. When our Rasool (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) heard about this, he laid siege on the tribe of the trouble-making lechers. Imagine that! A whole regiment of our Rasool (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) rose to protect the dignity of one Muslim woman and to avenge the chivalrous Muslim man who came to her aid.

There is no doubt that women possess an overpowering and intensely strong allure that affects men. Famous Rutgers University anthropologist and leading researcher of “love” Dr. Helen Fisher states about men: “Men fall in love faster than women…they are so visual.” We find that even noble Prophet Yusuf (‘alayhis salam) pleaded to Allah to save him from the temptation of the beautiful wife of ‘Azeez. A man with his pure heart and perfection was afraid of a woman’s temptation, so who are we the normal ordinary Muslim men?

{He said: My Lord, prison is more to my liking than that to which they invite me. And if You do not avert from me their plan, I might incline toward them and [thus] be of the ignorant} (Yusuf 12:33)

Similarly, we also find our own Messenger (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), the best of humanity, instructing us on the allure of women and how to deal with it if one is already married (and in other narrations in how to deal with it if one is unmarried).

Narrated Usama bin Zaid: The Prophet (salAllahu ‘alahyhi wa sallam) said, “After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women”.  [Sahih Bukhari 7:62:33]

In an extended hadeeth in Sahih Bukhari (Vol 1, Book 6, Hadeeth 301) our Rasool (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) speaks to women after Eid prayers and says: “…A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you…” and in another narration of the same episode he (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) states “…O women, some of you can lead a cautious wise man astray…”  (Vol2, Book 24, Hadeeth 541)

Jabir reported that Allah’s Messenger (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning leather and had marital relations with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart. [Sahih Muslim 8:3240]

After reading this, when I see a woman with full hijab or niqaab, can I not but have extreme respect for her and make du’a for her? The role of the man in controlling himself cannot be understated. Some Qur’anic exegetes have expounded upon the glance which is the opening to the heart and it leaves an image in the heart that may incline one towards it. This is so true. I myself remember being in a supermarket at the Hilton in Makkah buying some necessities when my eyes laid upon the face of a young nubile Arab woman for barely half a second. The extreme beauty remained sealed in my mind for years thereafter and all this due to one glance. So along with a Muslim man heeding the call to lowering the gaze, the Muslim women who wear the hijab serve as a safety valve by preventing his glance from turning into a conflagration that destroys him. A Muslim woman who wears hijab defeats the satan who beautifies her when she is unveiled.

The Prophet (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “The women is object of concealment, when she leaves the house, Shaytaan (the Devil) beautifies her.” [Narrated by Abu Ahwas from Abdullah, recorded in Tirmidhi 1173, Ibn Khuzaymah 1685-1687, Tabaraani 10/132, Abdur-Razaak 5116, authenticated sahih by Shaykh Al-Albaani in Sunan of at-Tirmidhi 1173]

The honorable Muslim man also loves that his wife preserves her beauty to be enjoyed only by him. In doing so, she appeals to his sense of gheerah (protective jealousy). And by that, she wins his love, respect, and admiration. She is a shining example of faith, dignity, honor, and all that accompanies that in goodness. The opposite is true as well. A woman who refuses to wear the hijab despite her husband’s entreaties puts him off, disrespects him, and earns his disfavor and by extension makes her status with Allah precarious.

“There are three at whom Allah will not look at on the day of Resurrection: (1) the one who disobeys his parents, (2) the woman who imitates men, and (3) the duyooth (a man who has no protective jealousy towards his womenfolk). “ [Narrated by 'Abdullah Ibn 'Amr, collected in Ahmad, An-Nasaa'i & Al-Haakim. Authenticated in Saheeh Al-Jaami’ As-Sagheer 3/74, hadeeth 3066]

A woman without hijab is like one who stands in a storm under hail and lightning – little is her protection, and harm may befall her at any moment. A woman with hijab is like one who takes shelter inside a fortified home next to a fireplace on a cold dreary night – protected, graceful, content, empowered, and emancipated.  I hope a Muslim man’s viewpoint on hijab serves to color this grand concept in a positive light and motivates many more sisters to explore the beauty of mind and body inherent in embracing complete hijab.

Guest writer Bint Yousuf details her friend’s journey towards finding inner freedom.

A smile in passing, an “Assalamu ‘alaykum” when our paths would cross and an occasional “whats-up-with-you?” was the limit of our contact.

However, towards the end of our first year of university together, that changed. In class, attendance was low since we were nearing the time of our term exams. Often a few of us would loiter in the back of the lecture hall and talk about every conceivable matter: talks of the Sahabah, dowries and extravagant weddings, deceiving appearances, what we heard in a lecture, and  amazing incidents from the lives of people who had tawakkul upon Allah. Our talks together  felt out of this world. Just as the teacher would walk out, we would instantly draw closer and immerse ourselves in iman-lifting, thought-provoking conversations.

We were changing. Together.

Being a niqabi, my change was more internal, while hers was a mix of both. Pre-university years, she was the very definition of a high-society party girl. Tights, drop-shoulder shirts, intermingling, high-fives, gossiping, back-biting –the regular stuff. I didn’t know her then, but apparently she was a lot different. It’s hard to believe that though, as I now know her to be the sweetest, friendliest person imaginable.

Once she had gone to the cinema with her friends in just such an outfit, when an auntie asked her to wear a scarf on her head. She carelessly draped it on, not really thinking about it. Later, she felt eyes on her. People were laughing at her, wearing hijab with such clothes. She felt really hurt.

When she started university, she decided she’d cover her hair and dress modestly –at least within the bounds of university. Outside, she felt conflicted. Her friends weren’t really the sort to accept this change of hers, and neither were her family.

Second year started. We started listening to Islamic lectures together. Sometimes we’d even sit in the library just to read  the Tafseer of the Qur’an together.

One day, she walks up to me and a group of friends and points at her eyebrows. She had stopped getting them plucked! She looked very delighted, too. We hugged and congratulated her. She said it had just stopped mattering.

A few days later, while sitting together with her and another friend who wore an abaya,  she was telling us about how this girl she knew had gone to a popular spot in Karachi and had been mistaken for a “not-so-good” girl. She admitted that had really scared her….  As we shifted onto another topic, and with a million thoughts swirling in my head, I finally asked her: so what’s stopping you from taking that next step?

She looked at me, speechless.

After a moments of screaming silence, with a new light in her eyes,  she could say nothing.

“Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allah’s Reminder…?” (57:16)

She messages me the next morning, before class: she wanted to start wearing the abaya! Apparently, that question had left its mark on her. Having admitted that there was nothing stopping her as such, she was eager to plunge ahead. However, her friends were discouraging her saying she was taking things too quickly, and to first focus on changing herself internally and all that. She really wanted to start though. I hurriedly texted her a reply:

Only you know when you are ready. People will always talk, but it’s the pleasure of Allah that’s important. And eventually, you’ll see. Allah SWT will put love and acceptance into other people’s hearts as well. Go for it!

I told her what made my sister take the next step. She was sitting in a lecture during her Hajj. The Sheikh  had made a du’aa: Oh Allah, we wish to adorn ourselves with the uniform, the outer appearance of a Muslim. So too adorn our insides with the character of a Muslim.

We should do what we can, I thought; whatever it is that we are ready for at this moment, and to not delay it even a second. And leave the rest to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

She replies, “I know I am ready. I was planning to start in third year, but who knows whether I’ll be alive till then. If I want to swim, I’ll never learn unless I get into the pool first. Insha Allah, I’ll start and hope for the best.”

She wore an abaya the next day. Inspired by her, another of our classmates who had wanted to start for a long time but didn’t have the courage to do it alone- came wearing an abaya too. They looked gorgeous. Sweet and innocent, with an inner glow. It was a wonderful day. We were on a iman high. And it was Ramadan.

I was so happy for them; for the start of their journey to attaining the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

Her family ridiculed and mocked her. The first day she wore it, everyone took a turn to comment on her. She cried in front of her mom that day, and later in front of us. Her sister would comment, when she was going out to an iftaar party wearing perfume: “Huh! So you’re wearing perfume?!” Another time, when she was planning to visit UK, her sister would mockingly ask her, “So what will you wear there?” With tears in her eyes, she’d exclaim to us: why do people expect me to be perfect overnight?

Once, she was advising one of her hijabi friends in class how it is just not okay to talk to guys so freely. It really touched me how sweetly, entreatingly, she was saying: “Listen you know me. You know how I was. And now I’m not like that anymore, I feel so good. It feels so right inside.”

Once she came up to me and told me how she wore an abaya to her first big gathering. A lot of people appreciated her step, but one auntie was like, “Hmm, this isn’t fun… oh well, its okay. You’re just going through a phase. Even my daughter in Ohio went through a two-year abaya period. She got over it.”

With that light in her eye, she said to me: “I will not get over it. I don’t understand how anyone can.”

Hijab isn’t just something on the outside. And she’s taken that to heart. To give another example of how ready she was to change, she told me, “I know I cant shake hands with my brother-in-law anymore. Or uncles. But I don’t know what to do when they approach me. I just sort of shuffle my hands and hold them close to give them a hint.”

Her brother-in-law even said to her, “Hey so now you’re not going to celebrate your birthday, right? I hope it means you’ll still give us presents when its ours.”

That got me thinking: inside, we all really do know what’s right and what isn’t, but we  just aren’t willing to accept it. We know there’s one God and that we obey Him because that’s what’s right; why don’t we just embrace it?

So are you ready to take that next step? It won’t be easy, or hey –it just may be a joy ride if you’ve got the support! But remember this: insha Allah it will be oh-so-worth-it in the end.

“And whosoever is conscious of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has sent a measure for all things.” (65:2-3)

Maimuna stood there quietly memorizing me as I pinned my hijab beneath my chin and wrapped a piece of the blue material around my neck and tied it into a knot on the side. She left the room while I gathered diapers and sweaters to put in the diaper bag; we were getting ready to go visit a friend that evening.

She came back with a bright pink Turkish hijab with polka dots scattered all over and lifted it to my face and said in a slow voice, “Heedaab.” I stood there stunned and realized she was saying hijab for the first time. And she wanted to wear one right before we left. I had just fixed her hair into a little ponytail on top of her head and looked at the hijab dangling from her hands and thought, uh, this hijab doesn’t even match her dress.

Then I stopped my irrelevant thoughts and realized how silly I was being. I should have been proud and excited that my two and a half-year-old daughter wanted to go out and wear hijab… hello! No one was even forcing or persuading her, she was doing it all on her own; how could I say no to that? She would randomly wear the hijab in the house or wear her outfit for prayer and join me sometimes, but she never actually initiated wanting to wear one when we went out.

I exclaimed, “Hijab! Come here and let me wrap it for you.” As I fixed the hijab onto her round head, trying to push back the stubborn locks of curls peeking out of the material, I felt the pride and happiness rising into Maimuna’s face. Her cheeks were rosier, her brown eyes sparkled, and I knew exactly what she was feeling at that moment: complete warmth and satisfaction.

It was the feeling you get when someone compliments you on your smile; it was the tingling when you knew you were going to your best friend’s house, and it was those “butterflies” fluttering inside your stomach when you were with the people you loved. It was the feeling of that warm stroke when your mother swept her hand across your head as she put you to sleep. This was what Maimuna was feeling. Interestingly enough, I was feeling the same way.

As I was tying her hijab, she stood there patiently and calmly, which is unusual since I am more acquainted with her much more wilder and untamed side when it came time to go out. To change Maimuna’s clothes or to get her to put on her shoes, I would have to go through all types of hurdles just to grab her and get her to follow directions: jumping on couches, racing through curtains, knocking over dining chairs, rolling through mountains of pillows, and springing atop beds.

But there was a sense of serenity and maturity emanating from Maimuna that seemed so magical while I was donning on the hijab for her. Usually I tie the hijab pieces behind her head, but this time I wrapped it around her neck and tied it at the side. Just like mine.

Maimuna noticed this specific action and squealed with delight because she knew I was taking her seriously. I was not just carelessly tying the hijab for her but she knew I was taking the time to fix and adjust the hijab as if I were wearing it. She appreciated this because she looked at me with pride and happiness that glowed from her little moon face.

When I finished adorning her attire, she turned around and looked at the full-length mirror before her. She smoothed her dress down and lifted her small hands and caressed the hijab. Maimuna turned to the side and looked at her reflection. Then a slow, proud smile spread across and radiated her whole face.

_______________

Mariam Al-Kalby is the founder of Maktoob-Untold Words by Muslims. She has been featured in various publications which include:  Maktoob, Damazine, InFocus News, MiniMuslimeen Magazine, Al Talib Newspaper, Muslimahsource.org, and MBMuslima Magazine. You can explore her website at createmaktoob.com or send her an email at mariam@createmaktoob.com.

Was it the latest songs? The hottest Hollywood couple? The soon-to-be-launched gadgets? Just ask Hauwa because she knows all about them!

I can still remember my friends coming over to consult me regarding the lyrics of a song or to settle a heated argument over celebrity gossip. At that time I was very much in love with the world; so much so that I avoided any thing to do with Islamic topics. As for my tongue, it ran free and wild! I would say stuff that I later on slept regretting. For example, I can still remember walking into a quiet room at the dorms during my high school days and blurting out “Did someone die?!” because they were all sulking. Little did I know that someone had actually died. Of course I didn’t mean the question in an inconsiderate way, but still it might have transmitted the wrong message to the others. I eventually got tired of that wild and carefree life. I wanted to become more mature considering I didn’t get any younger by the minute! I bought some Islamic books and tried to read them, but they mostly ended up somewhere in my closet with a dog-ear at the second chapter.

Then a very good friend of mine reccomended a lot of Islamic websites to me and I opened them up one by one. I Got It Covered happened to be one of them. I read through a few articles and suscribed for the mailing list. It was then that I concluded “CHANGE” was very much needed in my life!

I improved in my prayers and wore my hijab as it should be worn (not accompanied with too much perfume and a made-up face) and tried my best to quit my bad habits and adopt better ones. I started to read the Qur’an and the Hadith of the Prophet (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).

But even then, after all that, I still couldn’t sleep well at night. What about my friends? I kept thinking. I tried engaging in Islamic conversations with them and even offered to forward them the websites that I benefited from. But to no avail. I remembered a quote by Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change you want to see!” So I tried my best to improve my character and prayed that it would influence them even an atom’s weight. I love them and would want them to see the “light” as I have had the opportunity to.

I know that time is precious and should not be wasted, which made me learn an important lesson: Sure we have time, it’s just not in our hands. At any point in time it may be our time to go and there is nothing and nobody that can stop it from happening. So why not change today? Why not now? A little leap is all it takes.

I pray that the Almighty guides us in all our deeds and helps us fight the obstacles that we may face on our road to perfection: ISLAM. Ameen!