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This Ramadan…I will give myself to the Qur’an
Dear Book of Allah, sent down specifically for my guidance and for the guidance of humanity; dear Words of my Lord:
I weep for my negligence towards you, for my long absence from reciting your ayahs and flipping through your pages, for my distance from poring over your meanings, powerful and moving, soothing and comforting, full of knowledge and wisdom. I weep for having been sent to school to learn you at a young age, reciting and memorizing a good portion of you, and then slowly, as I grew towards independence and autonomy, having distanced myself from you until you were no longer a part of my routine. Some part of me felt that, having recited you once in my life from cover to cover, I had done my duty, I had done enough.
But here is the month you were first sent down in, it has come again. And as the believers remove their copies of you from their bookshelves during this month, racing to finish you once or twice, or many times more, I find myself returning to you, too.
This Ramadan — the month of the Qur’an — I vow to set different goals, ones which I pray will last beyond this sacred month.
Dear Book of Allah: This Ramadan, I will open my heart and mind to you. I will ponder deeply over your words, for your words were meant to be pondered over: “Then do they not reflect upon the Qur’an, or are there locks upon [their] hearts?” [47.24]. Even if I don’t fully understand the Arabic of your verses, I will open you up to read from you daily, to let my eyes fall on the pages of your sacred text.
This Ramadan, I will fall in love with you. I will engage with you, dear Words of Allah, as words that are talking specifically to me, guiding me to what is right and what is wrong. I will not read you passively. When Allah speaks of His Glory and signs, I will stop to ponder. When He speaks of His Hell-fire and His punishment, I will reflect upon my own self and my actions and weep. When He speaks of His reward and the people He has favored, I will yearn to be of those blessed with meeting Him in Paradise.
In my heart, I know you are my favorite book, because no words are more powerful and beautiful than His. Because you are His words. How blessed! How blessed I am to have access to you, the only book on the face of this Earth containing the unchanged word of the Divine, ‘azza wa jall.
This Ramadan, I will memorize from you. By Allah’s permission, I will go back to first re-learn those surahs I had in my memory from a young age, but which were made to fade over time. I will read these newly memorized surahs in my salah, renewing my prayers with fresh verses and not reciting the same short, four or five surahs I often recite. Dear Book of Allah, there is such an expanse and such a depth to you, and I want to begin to explore your treasures.
This Ramadan, I will explore your tafseer, your explanation, understanding that the English translation doesn’t even come close to what Allah is actually saying in you. Behind every ayah is a deeper meaning, a miracle. There is nothing like attending live tafseer classes; but if I don’t have access to those, I will fully utilize the resources available to me. I will exhaust my efforts in trying to learn as much about you as I can. I will listen to more lectures about you and to more audio of you being recited, all the while remembering that these activities are no substitute for my own individual recitation and memorization of the Qur’an.
Dear Book of Allah: This Ramadan, I will make du’aa to Allah to help me understand you, His Book, the way you are meant to be understood. I will ask Him to help me implement your teachings in my life. I have been away for far too long, and the journey back towards you is just beginning. I will ask Allah to forgive me for neglecting you, for not appreciating your beauty and your teachings. I will ask Allah to make you, the Qur’an, my companion in this world and on the Day of Judgment.
I will pray to Allah that beyond Ramadan, I will still be able to push away the laziness and the distractions of this world that grip me. I will ask Allah to make it easy for me to recite, to learn, and to memorize you, to make you always a part of my existence. I will ask Allah to make the Qur’an such a significant part of my life that I am moved by your recitation, that I weep upon hearing you, that you become the most prominent source of guidance and inspiration in my life.
Dear Book of Allah: Allah says, in describing you, that you are an honorable, respected, mighty Book [41:41-42]. No matter how long I spend reciting you, your beauty will never fade; and no matter how long I spend studying you, your treasures will never be fully uncovered. And so, to get some small portion of you, something so vast — to be blessed with carrying you in my heart and having my mind begin to comprehend you — I will give myself to you, entirely.
This Ramadan, I will give myself to the Qur’an.
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“This is a surah that we have sent down and we have made obligatory its commandments, and we have sent down bright signs in it so that you may take heed.” [24:1]
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** This piece was co-written by Dreamer and another of the IGIC staff.