My Hijab, the Most Beautiful Part of Me

18

Guest writer Amatullah Rose shares with us her sentiments regarding how she came to adorn the most beautiful part of herself.

As I thoughtfully gaze out of the window of my room, the beautiful and soft voice of the adhan stirs me from my silent reverie. I hurry to perform my wudhu and pray salah, although I feel sad to break from my moment of reflection, but I know that Allah always comes first before anything.

***

I remember that it was around the same time of the season – autumn, sad, but beautiful with its multi-coloured leaves falling on the ground – that I was still lost and did not know which way to go.

But Allah is the One Who is the Most Merciful, and He is the One and Only Who continues to guide mankind toward the right path and towards Himself. Although I was born in a Muslim family, I had never prayed salah, been to the masjid, or worn the hijab.

So in a similar moment, as I was looking outside the window and reflecting over my life and my purpose here in this dunya, I suddenly noticed a sister beautifully covered with hijab amidst the traffic and bustle of the city.

As I recall from that time, a few years ago, it was quite rare to see a Muslimah covered properly with hijab, even though our city is predominantly Muslim. This sister looked so beautiful and modest in her white hijab, carefully wrapped over her head with the lowered end of her scarf over her shoulders, that I thought: Ya Allah, how beautiful is this Islamic cloth? I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life!

The message that this cloth was conveying to me was the essence of modesty and the pinnacle of Muslim identity. I wished to call out “Salaam” to her, but as I was not covered myself, I felt shy to do so. However, in that very moment that I was going to turn my head away to another direction, my kind Muslim sister smiled to me and called out to me, “Salaam.”

Days passed by, but the image of that sister in hijab from our train station refused to leave my mind. I would watch out for sisters at my school, on the street, in the market, as they would pass happily and beautifully wrapped in their hijabs; they all looked so beautiful and clean, like protected roses.

I thought: Is there anything more beautiful than this rose garden which is watered by iman and true belief in Allah? Although I was already dressing modestly, I still could not ignore the way men would look at me. So I made du’aa to Allah: please protect me from these kind of lustful glances, because, ya Allah, I know that this is wrong.

I would close my eyes and try to imagine what it would feel like, walking fully covered in hijab. I too would imagine myself smiling and happy like those sisters I saw daily. I thought how safe and secure I would feel, and that with every step I took, I would be in a state of ‘ibadah to Allah, and proudly proclaiming my belonging to the Deen of Allah. But when I would open my eyes again, I would see myself back where I was, still uncovered; but only Allah knows how great this yearning of my heart was…

I called out:  Ya Allah, please help me so that one day, I too have enough courage and faith in You to cover, and that through it, I may be able to fulfill my iman and my identity as a Muslimah. My heart was alone in making du’aa, and I prayed to Allah that He help me to wear my Hijab with dignity and everything else that it represents.

“Insha’Allah,” I thought to myself.

Alhamdulillah a hundred times over, that Allah accepted my du’aas. He is the the Only Rabb, and He is sufficient for His Servants who put their trust only in Him. The day I covered myself with hijab was the happiest day of my life; and with the help of Allah, my family also happily accepted my decision and were very proud on me. My father told me, “Everything is more beautiful and has better value if it is covered and protected from strangers.”.\

I know that Allah hears every beat of my heart, and I know that when we honestly and truly rely only on Him, and make du’aa and ask help only from Him, Allah will never leave us to ourselves.

“Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us).” (3:173)

***

And now I get up with tears in my eyes and open an old wooden box near my bed, the contents of which I take out for my salah. This scarf, I bought only few days ago. It is so beautiful: emerald in color and silky to the touch.

18 Responses to “My Hijab, the Most Beautiful Part of Me”

Your Responses