this hurts me so much. lately ive been so caught up with this world that when trials come i dont know how to Handle it…i feel so low in Eman that at night i can only curl up into a ball and cry. When reminders like these come, i feel so much guilt i cant handle it.  

Dear Sister Little Jilbabi – We are all human, flawed and we all make mistakes and sin against our own souls. The important thing is to return to Allah (subhana wa taala). Sister, it is not too late, often trials and tribulations make us wiser, stronger and most importantly it makes us realize our need for our Lord. Make Tawbah and remember that Allah is Forgiving, Most Merciful.  Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped. Surah Az-Zumar (53 to 54)
 
Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped. Surah Az-Zumar (53 to 54)

jazakAllahuKairun sis, please make dua for me.

As the sisters have mentioned, it’s about Baby Steps, honey <3. Keep smiling, keep climbing, inshaAllah <3 much love and dua. (: