I Am Only Me

14

A sincere supplication from the depths of the heart to the Creator of all hearts.

Bismillahi ar-Rahman ar-Raheem. Allahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad, wa ‘ala Aali Muhammad.

May the person who reads this be better than the writer herself.

Ya Allah, I cannot thank you enough, but I acknowledge that among so many other people, You have chosen to bless me with some small part of knowledge. Alhamdulillah. All praises and thanks are for You. I acknowledge that the attitude of a believer towards knowledge is “the more knowledge he acquires, the more humble he should be” which is the direct opposite attitude of a non-believer.

My Lord, I cannot thank you enough for finally opening my heart to put on the hijab. At first I felt it was difficult, but when I took the first step, You opened the doors and made things easy for me. Alhamdulillah.

My Lord, help me maintain my humility with all the people in my life. I know that there are many people who are more knowledgeable and righteous than I can ever be. Neither have I faced as many obstacles or difficulties as they may have faced. I am not as strong as them. Yet, if they can be humble, why cannot I? Nor should I look down upon anyone who is still struggling to come closer to You. If I find them falling into mistakes, then it becomes my obligation and responsibility to advise them and to teach them. I pray for them so that You will forgive them.

My Lord, I do not wish to judge anybody because it only injures my heart; it will only be more difficult for me to respect, love, and be morally good to them later on. Allah, You know best about Your creation and I know very little. Please help me understand them so that I will not easily condemn and pass judgments. I simply wish to be genuinely nice to everyone.

My Lord, please forgive me for my past sins and mistakes when I was ignorant, evil, and mischievous. Who am I to be perfect? I am only me. It is You who perfected me.

My Lord, I cannot rely on myself alone; I put my total trust in You. I am also interdependent on people around me for my living. Nor have I faced the toughest throes of life yet. Please do not leave me alone because I need Your help to remain steadfast. I also acknowledge that You will not test me with something beyond my strength.

Bottom line, I should only worry about my obligations and sincerity towards You. I leave the rest to You: Tawakkul. I should always remember that I cannot obey You without obeying the Prophet salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and other righteous people who have rights over me like my parents and teachers. Even if I fall short of the standard You have set for me, I am not allowed to lose hope in Your mercy. You are the Most Forgiving.  May You have mercy on us all.  SubhanAllaah.

I am only me, Your slave.

-Rosie