Ya Ummi: Hijabi in Progress


Her journey to hijab still a work in progress, one of our sisters writes:

Ya Ummi,

I have been wearing hijab for a while now, and I was never tempted to take it off; but during weddings and parties it wasn’t my favourite thing to wear, since some of my cousins that also wore the hijaab never wore them to weddings. Alhamdulillah I don’t mind wearing my hijaab to weddings now because my dad always tells me that it’s important that we remember Allah in all situations.

So I wear the hijaab, but now I want to start wearing an abaya. My mom wears one and in my family only one of my aunts wear them. I know that I shouldnt look at whose wearing what, but I want to take this step without being singled out by my cousins which I have grown up with all my life. I have started to wear an abaya when I go out shopping, but I still haven’t had the courage to wear it to school. So I was wondering where should I draw the line? Does wearing an abaya mean I cant wear nice outfits? Does wearing an abaya mean I can’t dress up anymore?

I really want the courage to wear an abaya. I have been watching and listening to other sisters’ experiences wearing the hijaab and niqaab and inshAllah Allah will also give me the guidance to start. I hadn’t thought that I would want to cover myself completely and would think that if I marry someone pious I’ll eventaully cover myself. But again that got me thinking, that I shouldn’t want to cover myself because my husband would want me to, I want to cover myself because Allah wants me to. So any suggestions?

— Hijabi in progress…


“Ya Ummi” is an IGIC column for asking and giving advice, so named because the person we often turn to when we don’t know what to do next is our mother. If you would like to submit your own “Ya Ummi” post, you can do so via the Contact form. Please note that this is not a place to seek fatwas, but rather a place to seek advice from others who may have gone through similar experiences. If you would like answers to fiqh issues, you can visit IslamQA.com or contact your local imam.