Overcoming Fear to Finally Wearing Hijab

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Overcoming obstacles and fear of people, Sister Dawn shares how she chose obedience and fear of Allah.

If hijab seems hard my dear sister, remember, all blessings come from Allah. If you put on the hijab to obey His commandment, do you think Allah would abandon you?

I reverted to Islam in May 2008 at the age of 24. I was a single mother of two. Fresh out of college, living in a tiny town with almost no diversity. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to wear hijab.

Hijab is a commandment from Allah, and could I disobey? Living where I did, I was bound to stand out and feared harm that may come to my family. Really, this feelings was out of ignorance.

I had recently reverted. I also feared the reactions that would come from family and friends. I really wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet.

I couldn’t help how my heart felt. I desperately wanted to wear hijab. My heart yearned for it. I started feeling guilty every time I went out without it.

Allah states in the Qur’an:

“Truly Allah is with those who fear Him (keep their duty unto Him), and those who are good-doers.” [An-Nahl, 16:128]

I couldn’t just leave things the way they were. So I started to make little changes. I began to wear hoodies and hooded jackets, throwing the hood on no matter the weather, just to feel a little better about myself. I started wearing long sleeves, longer and looser clothing, and long skirts.

While driving to the masjid in a nearby town, I would stop in a parking lot and put hijab on. As I got braver and my iman began to get stronger, the place that I stopped to put it on got closer to home and further from the masjid. In other words, I would be driving further with it on. I felt at the time that in order to wear it, I needed to move from my location, away from the area where wearing hijab was difficult. However, I didn’t have the money to do so.

I had just landed a job working as a state social worker and had only been there a few weeks when I received an email from my boss saying that there was a problem with my taxes. Out of my own ignorance, I hadn’t paid taxes from my college job earnings for 2 years! At first, I thought this was horrible but soon discovered that it was an absolute blessing! I would receive a very nice tax return and that gave me the money to move.

I began looking for jobs in a city nearly three hours away. As soon as I was at a comfortable distance from my town, I would stop and put hijab on. The only people I knew in the “big city” were a few Muslims. Once I got to the new location, I knew I would feel free and safe enough to wear the hijab. The Muslim community there was active and supportive. I knew it would be a great place for my kids and myself to learn and grow in Islam.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t strong enough. I lost my courage and for the first few job interviews and I didn’t wear the hijab. Subhan Allah, I didn’t receive any of those jobs. If Allah doesn’t help me, where else is there help for me? All help is from Allah.

About two months after I reverted, I applied for the perfect job. The pay was nice. I would be working with special needs children in a public school. This was great because I would be working at the same hours my daughter would be in school. I became ambitious and hopeful. I really wanted this job.

This time, I decided to do what’s right. A few days before my interview, I decided that if they couldn’t accept me wearing hijab, then I didn’t need to work there because obeying Allah is more important than any job!

Can anyone argue that obeying Allah is more important than any job! Who is the One who would provide the job for me? Allah! Does it make sense for me to take off my hijab in disobedience to Allah when Allah is the One Who provides everything?

I regained my courage and I wore it to the interview. I went with my hijab, in a state of obedience to my Creator.

Within 30 minutes of leaving, my interviewer called and offered me the job! The teacher I worked with was a Southern Baptist woman, but she was very supportive and didn’t mind me taking a few minutes each day to pray. Alhamdulillah! She liked to ask questions and always put a respectable humor into it. I admired her curiosity. We even made a sign to go on the door of the room I prayed in so that I wouldn’t be disturbed. Also, I found a Muslim daycare to put my son in! Alhamdulillah, I think I was glowing for weeks! Allah did take care of me and provided for me!

I began wearing hijab permanently. It’s been 15 months and I haven’t gone without it yet. Alhamdulillah. I even found a husband in the city. We recently moved close to where I use to live previously so that he could finish school. The courage I found in the big city stayed with me. Allah has guided me to come so far!

Even though I’m in a dinky country town where I constantly see family and familiar faces, people I had feared to wear the hijab around before, I continue to wear hijab full-time.

I feel like Allah made that happen to me (the move, the job, etc.) so that I could become a strong and transform into a proud Muslimah. Now, insha’Allah, I can stand up to anyone for the sake of Allah.

I make du’a that Allah always gives me and my sisters in Islam the courage to always wear hijab, no matter how difficult the circumstances. Sisters, remember hijab is a blessing! Don’t fear what will happen if you put on the hijab. If you put on the hijab out of fear of Allah and to obey Him, as it is His commandment, Allah will take care of you insha’Allah.

Sisters, if wearing the hijab seems difficult, remember what Allah states in the Qur’an:

“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine…” [al-Talaaq, 65:2-3].

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Originally submitted by Sister Dawn to The Ideal Muslimah fan page for their “December: Hijab Month Project.” Our thanks to The Ideal Muslimah for the permission to repost.