When Satan Came to Me

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When whispers of doubt and deception come to you, what do you do?

Image credit: Jer Kunz

It was early morning, and my mobile phone was ringing. I suddenly woke up.

That was my friend calling me to wake for Fajr. I was about to get out of bed when someone started talking to me in my head. Someone told me to keep sleeping because life is not about sacrifices and waking up on time; life is all about chilling, having fun and waking up whenever I felt like it. But I pushed those thoughts away, reiterating what the Mu’athin had just said in the Athaan – “Salaah is better than sleep,” and  that success lies in Salaah.

When I did wudu’ and wore my hijab, I looked in the mirror and then again someone infiltrated my mind, telling me: I look so much better when I don’t have this piece of cloth on my head; I should put on more and more accessories to accentuate my beauty. I should wear makeup so I can look attractive – when I have a good head on my shoulders, why should I hide myself like that… when the opposite sex can be attracted by just a glance, then why not become eye candy…

Why hide when I can show what I have, and thus become so much more popular, gain fame and glory… Who will give me preference when I apply for a job and my competitor is an obscenely dressed girl displaying all that I hide? Who would accept me as a wife when I’m not following what the world follows? When the majority of the people call me an outcast, when I don’t attend parties where they serve drinks and have a dance floor, when I don’t dance at Mehndis when all my friends do? Why am I rejecting the beauty of life, my friends, the pleasures that I can get by just changing the way I dress, the way I look, the way I interact with people?

All this can change in a minute, you don’t have to wake up for Fajr, instead you can sleep whenever you want to, you can have a boyfriend like all the other girls you know who have one, you can wear whatever you want to, you can get whatever you want to, you can do whatever you want to!

It would have been so easy to just give in, to take off the scarf and climb back into bed. Instead, I read ta’awwuth. I read ayat al-kursi and said salat and salam over the Messenger, salla Allahu alayhi wasallam.

I told that someone, the devil who had invaded my head, that this life is a test. The test is not so hard for those who aim for Jannah, those who strive in Allah’s way, subhanahu wa ta’ala, those who want to live and die for Him. Those who have sold their souls to Him in exchange for Jannah. Those who submit themselves to Him, those who think of Him day and night, those who believe that His will takes precedence over theirs, those who are not frightened by the minority who follow Islam and the majority who doesn’t, those who believe that He is the Creator of the Worlds and that nothing can harm them when they follow their constitution that is the Quran and the Sunnah with commitment and devotion.

I don’t care about the girl who will get preference over me when I apply for that job. I don’t care about that man who will refuse to marry me when I don’t show my skin -  in fact I reject him and all such men in the first place. I don’t want to be someone’s girlfriend or whatever. I want to be judged by what I think and what I do rather than what I wear and how I look. I want to stand up for my values, and bow down to my Lord. I don’t want to substitute sleep for salaah.

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has said in the Quran:

And of mankind is he who would sell himself, seeking the Pleasure of Allah. And Allah is full of Kindness to (His) slaves. [al-Baqarah, 2:207]

He has also said, subhanahu wa ta’ala:

Indeed Allah has purchased from the Believers their lives and their possessions, promising them Paradise, in return. [at-Tawba, 9:111]

Let’s all kick the waswasa of shaytan from our lives. Let’s just live and die for Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala. Let’s just kick away all those excuses that get in the way of happiness. I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala accepts our good deeds, that He gives us a place near Him in Jannah. Ameen.