Lip-gloss, Eyeliner, and a Spine-Chilling Day

The mistakes we make are sometimes the most valuable lessons we learn, as one anonymous sister shares with us. May Allah protect us and enable us to follow His guidance.

I always heard growing up that Allah protects the women through the (correct) hijab. Allah keeps the women with honor, integrity, and dignity through the hijab. I’m not sure if I really thought about it seriously when I would hear people saying this truth.

I had to experience an awful event for me to truly understand this truth. An experience that would change me for the rest of my life.

It all started on a typical morning, years ago, when I was much younger. I had to go to the art Museum to check out a particular Picasso painting.

While I wore the hijab, I couldn’t step out of my house without beautifying my face with make-up. It was like an addiction. I had to use bronzer, blush, eyeliner, smoky eye shadow, lip gloss and more. But Alhamdulillah, I had enough taqwa to not pluck my eyebrows. I always feared doing that.

While I did wear the hijab with a beautified face and nice outfit, I didn’t wear jilbab and I wasn’t planning to any time soon. In fact, for me it seemed unimaginable. Now that I reflect on those times, I realize that I didn’t wear the hijab correctly.

That day, I put on my make-up and I thought I looked really pretty. “Great, I look great,” I thought as I looked at the mirror. I was about to step out of my house to go to the Museum.

I went into the subway and sat on the train. There was an old man who stood in front of me. It looked as if the old man wanted to sit or something and there were no empty seats left. So I asked him and offered my seat, “Do you want to sit?”

This old man looked and then all of a sudden started to loudly say, “No, I don’t want to sit! I don’t want to sit! Do I look that old to you?! Do I look that old!? Am I that old!? I don’t want to sit!”

As the man stood in front of me, shouting of course, others in the train began to look with raised eyebrows at the commotion.

No, you don’t look old, you’re not old… you’re not old…” I said to the old man, looking around at the professionals in the train who may have been on their lunch break.

The man continued to say, “Do I look old! Am I that old!” Simultaneously, to make the man shut it, I said, “No, you don’t look old, you don’t look old.”

After this sorta-kinda tit-for-tat, I told him (to calm him down), “When I see older people, I usually give them my seat.” (Keeping in mind that people in subway were looking at me and in no way did I want to make a bad impression of Islam and the hijab.)

Then he smiled as he looked at me and thanked me. As I sat and he stood in front of me, the old man, who was dressed like a sophisticated white collar professional, started to ask me what my name was.

I answered him. I didn’t want him to think I was rude, and I was looking out for my stop. I had already gotten lost that day. He asked me some questions about my school, my studies, my ambitions, and so on. Since he was an old man (most probably much older than my father), I really didn’t think badly of him or his intentions.

He spoke and was exceptionally articulate. He didn’t seem like he had evil intentions. While he talked and stared away at me, I didn’t realize that he was getting closer and closer.

When I looked at this face, I received a very creepy and sinister smile. His stares were weird. I avoided looking into his eyes and the situation was getting strange.

If he asked me anything, I would just look right and left, looking to see if my train stop was here… and the stop was farther than I thought. Thus, giving him more time to execute his plan.

In the mean time, the man stepped closer and closer to me while I sat and he stood. At one moment, I realized that the compartment had many empty seats. Yet, his old man was standing right in front of me, and staring.

Strange, I thought, “why isn’t he sitting down?”

When he asked me where I lived, I knew this man was really up to no good…

When he asked me where I lived, a red alarm went on…

When he asked me where I lived with his striking stare

What was worse was he said he lived around my school…

Something I will never forget about him was the way he looked. Never will I forget his beady little blue eyes, triangle-shaped teeth, his choppy laugh…

If I had moved to another part of the train, he may have followed me there. I planned in my head, “Wait for your stop, and then just walk out.”

While he stared away at my innocent painted face wrapped in a beautiful hijab, I was conscious of his presence in front of me and kept my train stop in mind.

Then, he came uncomfortably close and got exceptionally close to my ears and said in a low, secretive and disturbing voice, “Are you are interested in exchanging phone numbers? If you are, you can say it in a low voice if you don’t want anyone else to hear.”

My heart pounded when he said that! I couldn’t believe it! Why do you want my number! You know my name! You live near my school! You want my number now!

My mother wasn’t here to comfort me and my father wasn’t here to protect me.

He repeated as he stood right above my face, “Are you interested?”

No,” I replied.

“No?” he repeated.

“No.” I answered.

I stood up and went by the door. My heart pounded and I didn’t think to see if this pervert was following me or not.

I am a child compared to you, shouldn’t you care about my well-being instead of trying to take advantage of my innocence and inexperience about this world! I thought to myself.

As soon as my stop came, I stepped out and…

Froze. Yes, I completely, froze.

Believe it or not, I couldn’t move, I froze.

I stood on the platform with my hands close to my ears. My ears were burning up. He sounded like a hissing snake, a hissing snake. My shoulders, back, and ears were electrified by a painful stinging fear. My eyes were locked with the image of his blue eyes, with that unwanted striking stare. Never can I forget.

I just stood there with my eyes closed and I seriously couldn’t move. I was all alone.

As I said before, my mother wasn’t here to comfort me and my father wasn’t here to protect me.

As I stood there, someone came and put an arm around me…

I looked!

And saw that it was a woman…

“Was that man bothering you my dear?” she asked with a warm and concerned expression.

“He asked me for my number,” I answered. “He got so close to me…”

My ears felt like burning lava, and the back of my head felt as if someone had lit it on fire. The back of my neck felt bruised and itchy. It was a terrible, awful feeling.

“Honey, all the women on the train were watching how that man was bothering you, and don’t worry, the women were keeping an eye.”

I realized that two women had come to comfort me. Alhamdulillah! Subhan Allah!

They turned around repeatedly, to make sure that he left and wasn’t following me.  “He left, right? Make sure he left. He left, right?” “Yeah, I made sure, I took a good look at him,” she said to the second woman.

“My name is G***** by the way. Where are you going? ” she said to me.

I actually couldn’t remember. I was about to burst into tears because of the violation. Words can’t describe how I felt. As I write, I get teary. It was one of the most frightening moments of my life.

The woman told me she was going to work and would show me the direction to where I wanted to go. I walked with her out of the subway. To this day I am thankful to Allah that this woman was there to help me.

“You’re out now. Don’t worry, honey.” The woman comforted me with great care. May Allah guide her to Islam.

I managed to tell her that I was going to the museum and she told me where to go. I said goodbye to her and thanked her for her kindness. To this day, I haven’t forgotten her name or how she looked.

I wonder how I would have walked out of the subway if Allah hadn’t provided me with her assistance that day.

Allah provided help for me that day. Alhamdulillah!

The last thing she told me was, “Honey, tell your mother what happened. It’s something my mother used to tell me. That you should tell your mother when something happens to you. So honey, tell your mother.”

At that moment, I truly started to appreciate the hijab. “The correct hijab is there to protect the woman,” I thought.

“The hijab! The correct hijab! Traveling with a mahram! Better to stay at home! Don’t adorn your face! Wear a hijab with the jilbab!” All these thoughts were racing through my mind as I cried.

If I hadn’t look so “beautified,” and if I had worn the hijab like Allah had commanded, the old man probably would not have taken any interest in me… probably would not have noticed me at all. There would be no need to stare, or even progress to asking me anything!

“What if the women weren’t there, and what if he followed me out of the train! What if he is around me now!” These scary thoughts started to choke me as I walked.

As I walked to the museum, I kept turning around and looking from side to side to make sure that old man wasn’t there.

When I got to the museum, I sat in front of Picasso’s painting and cried. I’m not sure if people noticed that I was crying, but I seriously couldn’t help myself. When I looked at the women walking around with beautified faces and bodies, I thought about how they should be covered… I thought about how Allah’s rules are the best rules. I thought about how Allah indeed has honored the woman! Indeed!

I kept remembering what my mother used to tell me, how she wanted me to wear the jilbab. How she wanted me to wear the hijab correctly. How she didn’t like it when I stepped out without her or my father. She didn’t want to me to beautify my face like that. I started to think about how my mother always stressed going outside with a mahram.

I sat on a small wooden bench and I cried in front of the famous paintings.

Allah has set rules for the safety and honor of the women,” I thought.

When I finally got home, I was relieved. Home sweet home… where I am safe, cared for, respected and sincerely loved…

Allah says in the Qur’an to the women, ‘And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance. [33:33]

For more than a week, I would look around everywhere I walked, especially when I went to school, since he said he lived in the area. If I heard someone behind me, I would jump. If someone called my name, I was alarmed. Wherever I was, I became totally alert. I imagined often what I would do if I ever saw him around there. What if I saw him on the bus, around my school, even in my own neighborhood!

That day, I learned the lesson of a lifetime. Allah created us and Allah knows best how we should live our lives.

When a sister wears the (correct) hijab, it is not guaranteed that she won’t be bothered by strange men. Wearing the correct hijab, however, does save her from many kinds of harm that may be lurking around. If a sister wears the (correct) hijab, the chances of her being bothered by men are slim.

Even then, the main and sole reason why a sister should wear the correct hijab is because it is a commandment of Allah.

After that incident, and after gaining more Islamic knowledge, I started to wear the correct hijab. Alhamdulillah.

Ever since wearing a large hijab with a loose jilbab, without makeup, I have never had any strange encounters with any creepy men to that extent again. Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah.

Whenever I come across the painting I went to see in the Museum that day, I still become overwhelmed with emotion…

I understand now Ya Allah! Ya Allah, I understand now how important the (correct) hijab is… Ya Allah, I understand Alhamdulillah!

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies… That will be better that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [33:59]

______________

Originally submitted by an anonymous fan to The Ideal Muslimah fan page for their ” December: Hijab Month Project.” Our thanks to The Ideal Muslimah for the permission to repost.

Tagged as: hijab, jilbab, makeup, mother

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  • Catprowls

    This is downright stupid. So its the woman’s fault that there are perverted men out there and she is a walking enticement for them. So she’s supposed to always travel with a mahram no matter how impractical it may be. Instead expecting men to behave better the onus is placed on the woman that she somehow ‘asked for it’. Newsflash: some men are born that way, they harass you because they get a feeling of power out of it, regardless of what you wear

  • http://hautemuslimah.com Haute Muslimah

    SubhanAllah, excellent reminder for us all. I’m sorry you had that experience, but through it, iA, we can all learn something from it.

  • http://serenityinislam.blogspot.com/ Sara

    Assalaam Alaikum sister,MashaAllah beautiful & moving story. I can understand why it brought many to tears! SubhanAllah.I know a few sisters may disagree with what you’ve written, stating that it was the man’s fault for being a creep as opposed the blame being placed on ‘incorrect hijab’, however I believe that whether this individual would have approached any woman or not, it is absolutely crucial that we understand what correct hijab is and embrace it not only to protect ourselves, but in order to be the best possible Muslimahs we can be, Insha’Allah. I struggle myself, just like any other sister out there, and know how difficult it is to adhere to proper hijab with the media flashing images of ‘beautiful’ and ‘flawless’ models on billboards and television, but if we truly contemplate and reflect on the words of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala we can see the wisdom behind hijab and divine rules that Allah (SWT) and bestowed upon us in regard to modest attire, proper behavior and interacting with the opposite gender. This is foremost a reminder for myself before anyone else.May Allah (SWT) guide us all toward doing what it is right, Ameen.

  • sahara

    subhanallah… truly a moving story. thanks for sharing, may allah (swt) bless you.

  • ansari tamazir

    assalam alaikum….
    awesum 1 sis…..may allah protect everyone of us from such personalities

  • Arabiansama

    I’m so happy this sister has given up make-up…my probs ended when I wore proper hijab…I had an incident on the bus…but when it was over I kept remembering how the middle aged lady kept staring…to this day I wondered couldnt u have helped me…she only noticed he would pretend to fall asleep on my shoulder and every once in awhile i’d shift a bit to get wake him up from the dream i thought he was havin. the first time he did he put his head on my shoulder…I smiled because you shouldnt wake somebody up…wrong! he was nonmahram!…but the lady stared but she couldnt see his fingers would slowly move up my thigh..I thought he was moving in his dream but would move so he’d wake up. but when it got too high up–really uncomfy–I turned my body to face him and tell him not to…but right then the door opened and he ran off..a couple yrs later I found out he was that guy on the Finch (name of road) bus…bugged a friend too and other women….anyway…i remembered when he had already run off how that lady stared and i thought what’s she staring at-me rding a magazine about anime -all cartoony…always mad at her for not helping me and only staring…she didnt know about the fingers creeping up…now I realize that stare was actually concerned.
    Allah Bless her ameen and Guide her to Islam ameen
    thnx for sharing and us women r going to have kids inshaAllah–make sure your daughter wears proper hijab.
    my hijabi friends wear make up and I think am i wrong about not wearing make up-but Alhamdlillah I finally found my answer..
    Also, Allah is Always Protecting you. My father and brother didnt notice I got left behind and a man in saudi arabia waled towards me (no one there but a little kid playing outside the department store)..the big man had a look in his eyes..aimed first and middle finger together to jab me down there. When he came and striked my hand SuhanAllah Alhamdolillah moved on its own to perfectly deflect him and he kept walking. I was so angry at him I turned around to punch Him…I was a girl who worked out and did a little martial arts training. when i punched there was barely any strength..He smirked but again by Allah’s mercy he continued walking off..Alhamdolillah.
    Later found out I had a case of poisoning that’s why I had lost a lot of strength…point is Allah is always there to protect you…He’s even told us duas in the Quran and through prohet Muhammad S.A.W. to say when scared whaen whatever..there are duas –Rd dua book Fortress of the Muslim too and Quran. When I read the beginning 20 or so verses of surah Baqarah in english I was so scared that I was too afraid to put Quran down but then the next 2 verses or so.. Allah said something and it calmed me down so I could rest. Alhamdolillah SubhanAllah AllahhuAkbar
    Jazak Allah Khair sister for sharing and to Ideal Muslimah group creator(s)too

  • awesomeperson

    I agree. I’m muslim, too, but the fact of the matter is that if you go out in public, you need to have the balls to call people out on their pervertedness, especially if it’s directed towards you. I’m not disputing the Qu’ran here, but if all a woman does to protect herself is to stay indoors 24/7, then the only message that sends to creeps out there is that if a woman is out and about, she’s asking to be harassed. The bottom line is if you can’t protect yourself and feel the need to cry because some strange guy asks for your phone number, you probably shouldn’t be out IN THE SUBWAY by yourself.

  • Arbianprincess

    When I was coming down the stairs in high school there was a guy whistling at the girls comin down but when I came down he didn’t whistle..he even looked away (maybe lowered his gaze) I think.. Ofcourse I was Alhamdolillah wearing hijab n no makeup too.

  • A muslim princess

    soubhanAllah sister that’s such a good lesson, barakAllah ou fikoum , and may Allah ta’alah keep protecting you and give us wisdom to follow His commands. !! salaam wah aleykoum

  • Hiba

    Sister, I’ve had a similar experience to this one, though not as traumatic. You said is so perfectly, travel with a mahram. Innately, I have always deemed this to be respectful… but never as an exclamation. Yet it makes perfect sense. Preserves our dignity, honor, and respect. I wish this lesson was emphasized more.

  • Mehaad

    Subhanallaah!! Allaahuakbar.. Not just u sister.. many with the hijab are also taunted. As you said, the chances to be taunted are less.. We need to be protective as Allaah mentioned in the Qur’an.. May allaah protect us aameen

    024.031

    Muhsin Khan: And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husband’s sons, their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.

  • Guest

    This is not about blaming the woman, it’s about her experience that made her realize the reasons that Allah sent down the hijab, and the honor and respect that it gives a woman. A man is just as responsible for his actions, and Allah has sent down many rulings for the men to follow as well, lowering your gaze, etc etc.  and she is not “revising the meaning of true hijab”..in fact true hijab means not wearing make up, there are very specific ahadeeth stating that women are not supposed to beautify their faces with makeup/jewelry. It seems to me that saying wearing the hijab according to where you are going and make up according to where you are going is “revising” the meaning to true hijab…depending on where you are going.

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